take me as i come cause i can't stay long

Long time, no type.

2010-06-25T04:43:00.001-07:00

I've been out of commission on the blog-o-sphere as of late. More than a year, I think, since my last post. Not sure why I am returning, other than hoping that maybe this is another space to release my energy into the world.

I'm a big believer in what you put out to the world will eventually come back to you. I operate, as much as I can being human and all, in a way that I'd like to feel energy eventually coming back to me. This idea is being tested, though. People I love very much have had many blessings in their lives, but have been proverbially shit on over and over and over again. People who have the kindest hearts I have known. After all they have been through, the struggles still continue. The face new and insurmountable struggles. So strange how one person can make such a large impact on one family. Her actions have not affected me in a direct way, and yet these actions make me question everything I believe, and all the work I have done up until now.

While my first inclination was to be angry...no...not just an inclination...I was angry. I am angry. I pulled out every name in the book and yelled it from the rooftops. But, this is not the energy I wish to release into the world. So, with that, I wish this person a peaceful heart and a tranquil mind although her actions are to the contrary. I can only hope Karma begins to finally work her magic for those I love. They deserve a return on their Karmic investments.

A Link to the LY Guy.

2009-02-25T05:47:00.000-08:00

Laughter Yoga

Still work to be done.

2009-02-25T05:22:00.000-08:00

Wow. I had a great time at work yesterday. In perfect alignment with my new journey of reconfiguring my brain to be more positive, we had a Laughter Yoga and Meditation Instructor come to work with us at a self care workshop. It was great. I really enjoyed myself and the time spent with coworkers just being silly. Additionally, the guided meditation was exhilarating. There were many times I was smiling in amazement about where I was in my mind. He also gave us a great little mantra....

I love you. I'm sorry. Please Forgive Me. Thank You.

It roots are in Buddhism I believe is what he said. The basic premise is that we go into all interactions with a preconceived notion of the person with whom we are going to interact. By saying this prior to those interactions, especially if we fear they will be stressful, this can help to calm our minds. You are no longer thinking about how bad it is going to go, rather you are focusing on the statement which creates a different space in which the interaction can exist.

It really fits perfectly in everything I have learned up until now about not taking things personally and understanding that everyone comes into being through their own stories and experiences. Those are the only things they have to frame who we are, so we can't beat ourselves up so much based on others reactions to us. Additionally, we can't beat them up either because they may not be at a point where they recognize the same things we do.

That being said, I was faced with putting this into action yesterday and I am still wrestling with it today. I got to the workshop late and I jumped right into the laughing exercise that was taking place. It was not until after the workshop that I was told I got eye rolls from a woman from another agency. It was then discussed by her and her coworker as to whether or not I was wearing a bra. In addition to this day, I also found out that she has previously asked my coworkers what they "think" about me. Hearing all of this, I immediately became defensive and pissed and sad and questioning "who am I?" "what did I do to create this hostility?" However, looking back on the way this woman interacted in the workshop, her energy was very low and quite negative. She did not want to be there. I would guess our energies are very different and slightly at odds. Something about her story has me playing a part I'd rather not play. But, I can't help that. I have to realize it isn't personal. Or perhaps it is...perhaps I have slighted her at one point although I do not remember meeting her. Even so, her story has prevented her from seeking me out to discuss such a slight, so again, I can't fix what I do not know is wrong either.

What is frustrating is that I still find myself thinking about it today. Obviously...I'm typing this whole darn thing, aren't I? But, I think I'll be okay. And btw, I was not wearing a bra then and I'm not wearing one today either. In my story, that is perfectly fine:-)

A New Adoration for Life!

2009-02-24T07:17:00.000-08:00

Sadly, Josh does not have the same zest for life that I do right now which is ironic as just months ago he was saying he is the happiest he has ever been, and I was still a blubbering mess on the couch (pre-lexapro). But, I am so happy. I mean, there are things I'm still working on, and sometimes I get down on myself about choices I'd rather I didn't make. For the most part though, I'm loving life. I love yoga. I look forward to it rather than forcing myself to go when I first started it. I went rock climbing again last night with Josh. That was so fun! I climbed 3 walls. I also have an insane bruise on my arm from what I am assuming is the first climbing experience on Friday with Josie. Seriously, I bruise so easily. I'm suprised I don't pass out sometimes from the amount of blood that flows not in my veins but subcutaneously. I guess it is still in my body, so that probably helps.

I'm also still waiting for my stylist to get back from her funfilled vacay on the beach. I have found another picture that I think might be more me, yet still scene-a-riffic. Maybe a titch more color in with the blonde, but who knows. A place to start at least! I have to wait until the first week of March anyway, so I'll let ya'll know what happens when it happens.

Oh, and I talked to my long time friend Shana yesterday. That was awesome. So glad I did not screen that call. Always good to talk to a friend who has known you for a lifetime and knows all your quirks and quandries in life! Love you Shane!

To my faithful readers...

2009-02-18T18:57:00.000-08:00

I'm sure there are many of you. Things have been hectic right now. Between dealing with what seems to be an continually blossoming relationship with the legal system, teaching, working, being sick, and life in general, I have just kind of been zoning out.

But, honestly things are going really well. Teaching is awesome so far again and it sounds like I may be on again for the Fall despite budget cuts. It appears as if Seeds might be okay as far as the state budget is concerned as well! So, work for me appears to be somewhat secured for now. I was also notified that I now qualify for UNI benefits which I was not aware would be happening as an adjunct. That means Josh finally has insurance....thank goodness. That boy is falling apart at the seams! Plus, he wants to stop smoking, so now we can get him on a med for that.

My mental health is going relatively well. The Universe definitely knows what we can handle and when. It is amazing that some of what I most feared has happened, and I have really sailed through now that it. I think what has already happened is the easy part though. Josh has a hard road ahead of him in seeking sobriety, and I as his partner will in turn have a long road. My therapist suggested Al-Anon for me. I never thought I'd be attending something like that. But, I'll do my part to be a strong support system for Josh!

All last weekend I was sick with the BIG D!!! I didn't feel sick, but I couldn't eat much and was completely drained, so I slept the entire weekend. I didn't get my hair colored because of this! Now I have to wait for her to get back from Florida. I did stave off the sickness long enough to have a wonderful night at Spicoli's watching Soul Fusion. A night of dancing to them is like a good therapy session. I adore losing myself in the music and not giving a care how I move or what i look like. Just rocking out to the music. Best thing ever! I didn't stop dancing their entire set. The only thing I regret about that night was how many people were there that I knew. It was the best and worst part of the night. Seeing all those people were awesome, but it meant I beebopped around the bar and never really spent quality time with anyone. I also ended up being fairly enibriated which means I was probalby not someone to you'd want to spend quality time with anyway:) Oh well, I had fun. I need to stop overanalyzing and just appreciate it for what it was. Still my negative self creeping in...grr!!!!

OH, and I started Yoga with a friend, Kristi. So far, soooo hard! But I love it, and the instructor reads a snippet at the end of each meeting. It is like she is psychic. during cool down, I always do a little mediation for myself, and she always reads something that corresponds perfectly with what I am meditating over already. Definitely something good I'm doing for myself. I still need to go rock climbing with Josie. I'll have such a well rounded workout routine with all these things going on!

Well, there is a little update. Now I need to catch up on all your blogs...cause I haven't been on the blogspot in a minute!

Scene Hair Part Duex

2009-02-09T19:25:00.001-08:00

LOVE HER HAIR! I don't even care that upon saving this pic, it was automatically labeled emogirl...I'm embracing my poser emo spirit within! My Appointment is Monday since I have it off and I'll be celebrating President's Day! Woot woot!

Scene Hair?

2009-02-09T09:31:00.000-08:00

So I am mortified. I am apparently a "life is painer". This is my and my husband's pet name for emo kids. But I'm finding, as I am on my quest for cute, sassy, short hair, I am discovering that there is a name for the hairstyles to which I am drawn. Scene Hair or Emo Hair. Eeeegads! My recent quest is color. I want streaks of vibrant fun color in my hair. As I'm searching for this on google...I kept coming up with "scene hair".

Well, I don't care. I think we all know I'm definitely part of no particular scene unless it is the "heading into her mid-30s" scene. I hear it's pretty cool, so I'm pumped for joining the scene with my new Scene Hair! I called to make an appointment today, so get ready people. I'll be all over the scene. SCENE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yum...Margaritas

2009-02-06T23:53:00.000-08:00

Tonight I went to Amigos for a couple of Mararitas with my friend Josie. I was going to say coworker, but I feel she is a friend at this point...not just a coworker. She is so great to just blab to about my stress. With the new direction I am taking in my life as far as being positive and "not taking things personally" and all that jazz, sometimes it gets hard, and you still need someone to vent to. Thank goodness I do have all my friends that I work with...we waste many an hour just debriefing about work and personal life during work hours. I wish I still had the entire crew there, but they are still with me in spirit, I know!

Anyway, even when you are trying to stay positive and be impeccable with your word...it can be hard to never gossip or just unload about shit. Josie is a good one to do that with because she will let you do that, and then remind you that there are more important things to focus on....that life is great! That I have so much to be thankful for....Thanks Josie!

Seriously?!

2009-02-02T19:58:00.000-08:00

Did more than half of my last post seriously consist of information regarding Jessica Simpson? What is that about? I don't even listen to her music. I'm am drawn to weird things sometimes.

I'm also working on the first month of Mystery School. I can tell it is going to be a tough but introspective year ahead. It is really hard to describe what is going on right now. I'm having a tough time wrapping my mind around it without explaining it. Basically, it is more questioning on why and how we have come to be who we are. I really love it and hope to become more involved in the conversations that take place with the other Mysteries.

I also hope that perhaps before the year is over, I can find the strength to visit the Grove! I just want to see all the doggies. Doggie heaven!!!!

Updates and ramblings

2009-02-02T15:40:00.000-08:00

Well, it is the Monday after SBS! Josh teased me incessantly about not playing the part of the good SB wife and making up the snacks. Finally, in a moment of true frustration, he set out to cut the meat and cheese tray during the last 54 seconds of the first half. As most of you know, he missed a big play. I was actually in to the game and was screaming my butt off and he was very annoyed and pissed at me and his friend Travis. We were slightly amused at his impatience which led to the event that led to the annoyance at ME! My bad...oh well, I never said I was wife material:) But, he got over it.

Loved the Obama interview prior to the game or whenever that aired, and I love how his comment on Jessica Simpson covering his face on the cover of People. "Apparently she is facing a weight crisis. Ah well." Josh and I were dying. Video here. (although labeled "Obama calls JS fat, he is not...he is joking about how stupid the title is from what I can tell). Especially after we saw this The Soup clip..about a minute in, Joel discusses the crisis in Jessica Simpson mom jeans news. Which, yeah, not so flattering, but I don't think she has gotten to the point where she could be called fat. I'd be willing to guess she is still thinner than me. Sorry, I don't consider myself fat, so perhaps we just need a call in to What not to Wear as opposed to Weight Watchers. Or maybe we cold all just get a life.

Additionally, in my quest to defend us short chunksters everywhere, I found this video of JS. Proving as a photographer once told me, two demensions really packs the weight on as compared to three dimensions. She looks SKINNY in the video...although the pants are still unflattering...but I'm not Stacy and Clinton either so I have no room to talk.

Anyway...other than that...life is swell. HOpe everyone else is doig well.

Skirt Stacy

2009-01-21T12:38:00.000-08:00

I just opened up a Word Seek book and the first puzzle I opened to was this:

Find the word skirt 28 times hidden in the box. 23 so far! That is a lot of skirts, even for me!

Extra Cheese Please!

2009-01-21T06:20:00.001-08:00

I love the Daily Show for being fair and balanced. Although an avid Obama supporter, I thoroughly enjoyed this clip. Guess it just goes to show that sometimes it is the packaging more so than the contents! Although I have faith that the contents are a bit more quality this time around as well. Also, had anyone else ever thought about cheese on chinese food? How funny and true!

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Changefest '09 - Obama's Inaugural Speech

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

"

Also, getting a hair cut today! Actually in about 30 minutes. Trying a new funky place called Snipz. I'm excited to try it out. I saw an article about it in the paper, and it looked like a great place. Close to work too! 604 Baltimore in Waterloo! (This just in, post-post....best haircut of my life!)

My mom suggested I start Mystery School through the Grove this year. She gifted me the year, so I am super excited. I will probably not participate in person this year unless I make great strides in with my anxiety issues, but I'm very excited for the online participation and the personal growth that is sure to come!

If you are interested in more info you can go to www.dianasgrove.com They also have a dog rescue! Pretty awesome.

Coconut Lime Verbena

2009-01-08T07:38:00.000-08:00

This is my new fave Bath and Body Works scent. I always loved it when my friend Mandy had the lotion in her office, but for some reason never thought to buy it. Well, I got some lotion in my stocking just by chance this year for Christmas. I decided to go out and buy body spray and bath wash too! Although, now I'm beginning to wonder if I'm allergic. I have crazy sneezing fits every morning when I get to work. I wonder if it is from dousing myself with the body spray. I hope not because I looooove it!

Short Hair: The New Drug

2009-01-07T19:29:00.001-08:00

Well, I'm still waiting to see the hot new pics of my friend Josie and her recent hair chop! But, she did remind me that I need to get mine cut again. It is amazing once you go short, how much you notice that it has grown in places you don't want it to. The back of my hair needs to be trimmed up again.

Actually, I have a new inspiration. Aeon Flux/Rhianna.

I just don't think my hair dresser trusts that I want it to be kind of "edgy". I feel dumb saying that, but I don't want it to be all perfectly bobbed and cutsy. So, I'm sure I'll be calling for a spur of the moment hair cut soon! Wish me luck!

And Josie, if you read this...get crackn on the pic posts! Or come see me:)

I'm Yours

2009-01-06T14:10:00.001-08:00

I'm guessing this song is overplayed and really popular right now. I say guessing because I don't really listen to much besides 97.7 Classic Rock (although is Pearl Jam and Counting Crows classic already? If it is...kill me now) so I don't really know for sure. Additionally, it has that "hey I'm different and kind of cool" sound that makes all the kids flock to it even though it isn't really all that different.

Anyway, every time I have heard this song which has been a handful, I absolutely love it. I plan to get it on my IPOD tonight! Sorry for those who know it is overplayed and hate it now because of it:)

Me watching current movies? Who is this strange woman?

2009-01-06T13:46:00.000-08:00

As most of my family and friends know, I don't really enjoy going to movies. I mean, once I go, its fine. But, the idea of going is not all too thrilling. Expensive, uncomfortable, potentially trapped in the middle of a row, and no pause capabilities. But, I have found this great web site. You can watch movies online at http://www.watch-movies.net/

You don't have to download anything to do this, so I don't think it is illegal on my part. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. Sometimes they are bad quality, sometimes they are picture perfect. I got lucky and found picture perfect for Benjamin Button and 7 Pounds. Usually, I would have never seen these until they made their way on to cable.

Well, I didn't plan on seeing Seven Pounds based on my family's recommendation that it would destroy me. It pretty much did. I'm a wuss and hate to cry at movies. I cried a lot. But, I figured it would be good and since I was prepared, I would risk it. I am glad I saw it. Wil Smith did an awesome job. It was just pretty sad.

Benjamin Button was really good too. It was long...3 hours. I was glad I got to watch it at home because I took lots of breaks. It was kind of like a good book more than a movie. I won't discuss in detail, but I have some concerns with logic (yes other than the obvious subject of the movie) at the end. So, if you have seen it, I need someone to bounce the concerns off of.

So, I'm actually hoping to see more movies now that I can do it from my own home. At least until they shut the site down which I'm sure will inevitably happen.

Good year so far:)

2009-01-06T09:45:00.000-08:00

The dogs of the night...Luna and Lilly.

Kendra and Dionne

Matt, Jen, and Ben

Kala and Kendra

Sethel

Seth Emily and Josh

Kala, Emily, and the demon child apparently.

Pix and Emily

Kala rocking the Jenga!

Me and Kala.

Well, the year is off to a good start.

First off, our roommate Ben moved out. Not that Ben was a bad roommate. But can I just tell you I love wondering around in my house without clothes! It is so awesome to do that again! And then, we officially kicked it off at Seth and Kala's house which is documented above!

Secondly, with that comes my new and improved exercise room. My mom gave me her elliptical machine to hold on to for her and it has been in the dark and dingy basement. Now it is in our extra bedroom with light and windows and room to move! I love it. Had my first workout of the year last night! Thanks to Mariah for talking to me and keeping me moving 30 minutes more than I probably would have gone!

Thirdly, dog walks! Loving the dog walks. Even more so now that I have my fabtastic snowsuit! I remember the days of begging and pleading to not have to wear these to school any longer. I could hardly wait to get my hands on this one so I could walk the dogs through hell, high water, or Iowa winter! Below is a picture of the snow suit or coverall I like to refer to it. I was practically dying of heat exhaustion last night on our walk. In fact I went close to 2 miles with Jack and Lucy because I was so warm! I've been told by Josh that I look like a giant turd which I'm guessing is accurate based on what I can see of myself without a mirror. I'll have to take a picture and post it for your comic relief.

If it is legal, it can't be that crazy...right?!?

2008-12-31T06:35:00.001-08:00

Well I had heard about this Salvia grass they sell right in the mall that supposedly makes you trip. Well, I decided to try some this past weekend. I figured, what the heck? It's my birthday, I'm up for anything. Not to mention it is legal and from what I heard, it lasts like 10-15 minutes. So, if I don't like how I feel, I'll be over it it in no time.

HA! The intense trip probably lasted 10-15 minutes, but I was crawling out of a time-space warp for at least an hour. It was the craziest experience I have ever had. Because I didn't expect to experience what I did, I spent the whole trip amazed at what was happening and trying to explain to everyone what was happening. I was likely very annoying. There really is no way to describe it other than I kind of felt like my mind was like on of those Xbox commericals where the person's head is open in the back and you can see into it. I felt like I was wondering around in the back of my head, and i could walk up to my eyes and look out at the world if I wanted to, but then I would walk back and I couldn't see anything. I could hear people calling to me, but had no idea where they were or how to find them. At one point I finally found Josh (even though he was holding me and looking right at me) and I remember asking him to hold on to me and keep me here because I wanted to stay looking out of my eyes. It was crazy!

Once I could permanently look out my eyes, I still felt like I was right on the edge. Like I was in this weird tunnel or under water, and I kept almost getting my head outside the tunnel or above the water but I just never got there. I think I would like to try it again now that I know what to expect, and just roll with it instead of trying to explain it to myself and everyone around me. I've video googled, and there is this guy Jim who records himself on Salvia trips. It appears he is describing much of what I was experiencing. Definitely a Long Strange Trip.

If you try it, you should definitely have a sober friend around to watch after you and reassure you all is well!

The end of another year.

2008-12-22T10:59:00.001-08:00

Well, 7 days until I'm 33, and 6 until my hubby is 29! At least HE is still in his 20s! Ah well, this is life isn't it? I find myself appreciating it more and more lately. Could be this new lease on life. I have not finished A New Earth. I'm just not much of a reader, but I have continued to carry the lessons with me and try to read just a little bit here and there to continue my journey. It really has helped me stay out of the negative flow of thought that usually corrupts my brain! I'm sure the meds are helping. Lexapro is so far so good!

I'm on a break with teaching. I still have to submit my grades, but the end of the semester wrapped up very nicely. Just a few Ds and Fs. I'm excited to start a new semester, but nervous about the new class I'll be teaching. I need to get reading (uh-oh) so I know what I'm teaching:) But at least the 2 sections of what I taught this semester will be a breeze since I've already taught it once. I'll be teaching T/TH and T evenings. So, that is nice. Not as many lectures to prep for as when you have a 3 day a week class.

The biggest thing I'm excited about is having our credit cards paid off. I had planned on being done by Dec, but things never go as planned. I needed new tires, we went to St. Thomas, and we had massive vet bills! So, now if everything goes as planned I should be paid off by the end of January! Fingers crossed. It will feel so freeing!

It has been nice that for the first time in forever, I am not scrambling to figure out how to pay for those unexpected expenses. This teaching job is really great for the added income if nothing else. Weird how when the rest of the world is freaking out about the economy, we are actually doing fairly well. However, the adjunct thing is never a sure thing, so I am hoping to save save save after January and getting the debts paid!

Oh what else can I bore you with??? It is cold and snowy and up until yesterday I was walking my dogs every night. THey love this snow! But, the below zero temps are just a little too low for my or the dogs liking. Hopefully it warms up a little or they'll be bouncing off the walls.

Christmas shopping is done on my end, but not Josh's. He is a procrastinator. Not sure, but I think a Wii is in store for our family! That will be fun if I am right. Can't tell for sure with that sneaky man!

Okay, well, that is enough rambling for now! Merry Christmas and Happy Winter Holidays to all!

I'm not allowed at Urgent Care anymore.

2008-12-04T06:08:00.000-08:00

So, for the second time in a week I walked out of Urgent Care. Well, not really but kind of. The first time I was in there for my supposed adverse reaction to the wellbutrin. I thought I was having an allergic reaction, but in reality, I think I was having an anxiety attack. Either way, the doctor was not acknowledging either issue. I finally just left.

Well, last night. Josh and I were wrestling. We were having so much fun actually, but too much horseplay results in injury. "Someone's gonna get hurt!!" All of a sudden my earring got hooked on his tooth and as we separated he grabbed his mouth and I my ear. I was sure his tooth was hurt. I have some pretty serious weapons as earrings. But, upon further investigation it was actually my ear that got the raw end of the deal.

I wouldn't look at it because I was nervous about how bad it was, but Josh was convinced we needed to go to Urgent Care for stitches. I was still convinced we could just glue it. So, we got to UC and the Dr. said yes, we will glue it. There was a wait. I didn't want to wait because as I suspected, we could glue it. So, we left. We glued it! Yay.

I'm pretty sure Urgent Care thinks I'm a freak though. Here is my injury all glued up:)

Another Unexplained Absence

2008-12-02T06:07:00.000-08:00

So, I've been absent again. Sorry peeps. I'm sure there are so many of you just dying for an update. Well, I've been sick. I'm still not sure why or what it was. I think it was a combo of the flu the side effects of the Wellbutrin I had started. Either way I was out of it for a good 4-5 days. And now I have a head/chest cold. Fun times!

Before I got sick, I committed to a new journey. A quest to refocus, re-energize, and find value in my life again. I decided that I would start taking anti-depressants despite my reluctance and truly commit to therapy. The Wellbutrin did not sit well with me at all! I will hopefully find something that works when I visit the doctor this week. I have my 3rd therapy appointment this week. Last week was very good and set me on a great path. I had a wonderful holiday weekend. There were some set backs and old props I leaned against, but I can easily recognize them now. I can only do my best, which will never be perfect, but I'm not trying to be perfect.

I bought the two books above in an effort to help me focus my energies. I talk a big game, but often I do not walk the talk. It was also called to my attention in therapy that my negative self is always waiting in the wings to jump out and scold me or those around me. She needs to take a chill pill! I'm hoping these books help me to tell my negative self to go take a breather. It is funny, even as I read the Four agreements, I find myself nearly crying. Crying because I know a lot of what I've been doing is so unhealthy for me and those around me, and crying because I don't know if I'm ready to let go and truly make a change, and crying because I'm scared to see what happens if I do really invest in this change. I'm such a huge creature of habit and control.

I haven't even started A New Earth. The Four Agreements are going to be difficult enough. They sound so simple, yet the agreements I have already made throughout my life are so ingrained in my being that it will be difficult to break them and enter into these new ones. I'm am excited though. Only good can come from what is on the Horizon.

For those of you who have an interest, the four agreements that I am attempting to incorporate into my life on a permanent basis are:
1. Be impeccable with my word...(NO MORE GOSSIP, NO MORE HATEFUL SELF TALK.)
2. Do not take anything personally...(If I'm being impeccable with my word, than your issues with me are more about you than me.)
3. Don't make assumptions. (about myself or others...ask questions!)
4. Always do your best. (My best will look different everyday, maybe every minute, but if I'm trying my best in the moment, than I won't set myself up for failure.)

Here I am!

2008-11-05T06:02:00.000-08:00

I know....I've been neglecting my blog. Well, what a happy day! Barack Obama will be our next president! This election, like everyone says, was monumental. Not only do I now have a president I can trust, I have a president who has made this country take a long hard look at itself! When I look at Barack Obama, I feel a sense of peace. I did not even feel this way with Clinton. Although, I was only in high school at the time. I think after living some of my adult life watching some of the things that have happened over the years, I have gained a sense of urgency that perhaps I didn't have had in high school. Anyway, on my FB this morning, a McCain supporter friend of mine made the comment, "they said the sun would come up today, but it didn't". It was very cloudy and rainy this morning, but just as I read his comment and looked out the window, this is what I saw.....

The picture doesn't do it justice, but the double rainbow was there! Lately, I've been feeling stronger and stronger about my Earth based spirituality. I just love looking around me and seeing the beauty in nature that reflects the beauty and hope that I should have about life! It gives me strength! Even as I'm typing, it is sunny, it is raining, it is cloudy, it is thundering, it is amazing! Mother Nature is definitely a celebrating something this morning, although I doubt it is the politics. I don't imagine she concerns herself much with that...although if Obama has his way, she will be much happier!

So, on to Halloween. Pretty anti-climatic as per the usual. But, here is the pic.

Additionally, that weekend, my grandma turned 91! I can only hope to be as healthy, active, and happy as she is at 91! Here are my dad, grandma, and aunt.

And then, because I can't blog without mentioning my kiddos... here is a cute pic of Zeke and our kitty, Jezebel. I was in the laundry room and up pops Zeke's lil head. Kitty was not thrilled, however, she wasn't as displeased as I would have guessed she would be.

So with that, peeps, I'm off to St. Thomas for 5 days tomorrow morning. A "most expenses paid" vacation is definitely my favorite way to travel:) I'll post pics when I get back. Mwah!

The not so perfect lamp.

2008-10-29T09:55:00.001-07:00

Well, I got the lamp today. It is not so perfect and will be heading back from whence it came. Boo! But, this will give me the cash I need to buy the perfect boot referenced earlier! Yes!

And here are my mug shots. I hate these self portrait deals. I'm happy with it. It is def not as short as the pics I posted, by that was never my intention. Although, who knows. I could get braver next time!

fulfilling my role as a consumer.

2008-10-27T14:17:00.001-07:00

I pretty much feel these are a necessity. I'm just waiting to hear back on what size I should order.

Best Lamp Ever?

2008-10-27T05:47:00.000-07:00

I'll find out sometime between 10/30 and 11/4. I'm very excited to see how this lamp plays out in our living space. I have a visual in my mind that I am hoping is accurate.

Do I dare? More sassiness added.

2008-10-24T19:04:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking of going even shorter. A combo of these two pics...but also keeping the fron a bit longer. More chin length so it can go behind the ears.

I've added more pics, mostly so I have them all in one place to refer back to. I'm going tomorrow for the big cut. Still wanting longer in the front, but I love all of these. I'm tempted to just tell her to go for it. But, I'm also super nervous. I think as long as I have some length around the face, I'll be fine. Also, I'm watching Jon and Kate + 8. I definitely do not want it like hers. It is almost too mushroomy. It's gonna bre a fine line. I'm scared:-S

Does my Earth based spirituality count?

2008-10-24T05:42:00.000-07:00

To preface: I'm not one of those who believes we should pull Christmas trees out of public spaces or schools. I think people should be able to say Merry, Happy, Have a Great (fill in the blank), whatever they are comfortable with saying without people getting all worked up. I do, however, think that when an employer or school decides to celebrate a holiday, we have to be willing to go a bit more general. E.g. Holiday Party. Either that or be willing to have more than one celebration. Let's get to the matter at hand shall we.

My mom, for years, has advocated for the Holiday Party at her place of employment. As many of you know, I subscribe to more of an Earth based spirituality which I gained from my mother. Because of her "religious affiliation" and others that she works with, she felt perhaps it was more appropriate to have a Holiday Celebration rather than a Christmas Party since not everyone in the organization celebrated Christmas. This has been like pulling teeth. And in fact, the request fell on deaf ears.

Well, it is 2008 people. The holiday season is upon us, and mom is finally getting her wish. However, it is not due to her request. Apparently, there is now a Jewish employee working for the company. UH-oh! Apparently it is now a HUGE deal to have a Holiday Party instead of a Christmas Party so as not to offend. Although Judaism is still not the "right" religion, it apparently carries enough clout to change the work environment a bit. So, mom kind of wonders...why? How is it different?

She is still struggling with whether to actually ask this question of the powers that be. I can't wait to hear the answer if she does.

Free Ringtones Anyone?

2008-10-23T05:56:00.000-07:00

No, this is not a spam entry! It is really me. It is safe to click here:)

I discovered Phonezoo last night. You can either search for already made ringtones, or make your own from music on your computer. Once you sign up, the site just texts you the ringtone to save to your phone. No hidden costs that I have found so far. Here is an article about it, too.

Search for hilarious randoms...growing pains theme song, family ties, saved by the bell...it is endless. The Office quotes from the show. It is pretty much awesome.

Have a fabulous day! Sha na na naaaaah.

Circumcision

2008-10-22T05:43:00.000-07:00

Informational Link

Capitalsim vs. Socialism

2008-10-20T08:11:00.000-07:00

I don't know a ton about either of these issues to effectively argue for one over the other. However, here is the argument that annoys me. People who say I'm not for Obama because I am not for socialism. Many of these people are in love with the idea of capitalism, and why should I have to pay for some lazy low life.

Number 1. Do we really value our CEOs over our teachers or our daycare providers? I recently had a friend who was offered a job as a DIRECTOR at a daycare. Her pay would have been 8.50 an hour. Is she lazy? NO. Would she be able to make it with her two kids on her own with this salary? No way. She'd likely need some assistance. Maybe even a tax break.

I also have a friend whose father left her mother, 2 brothers, and herself with nothing. Mom worked hard for minimum wage, and the kids even brought home money to help. They could have never done it without gov't assistance. Lazy? NO.

Why is it because I have chosen employment in a community serving capacity that I make significantly less than a CEO of some big company? Do they work harder than me? I'm sick of people saying that this whole restructuring thing is about taking from the well deserving rich and giving to the lazy middle class or poor. Yes, the system has MANY flaws, and many abuse the system because of this. But there are many of us out there who work just as hard as Joe CEO, and reap none of the rewards. Joe CEO will still come out much farther ahead even if I get the tax cut and he doesn't.

Looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays.

2008-10-20T05:52:00.000-07:00

While I preach the idea of only putting energy, even energy of thought, toward the outcomes you would like to see in your life, I sometimes put energy toward the bad stuff. For some reason, I got to thinking about what I would do if someone in my family died. Especially my dad or my husband. I think it is mostly because they are both really unhealthy...although my mom does smoke now, too. But, I have always had this fear of my dad dying. Probably because my grandpa had two or three heart attacks and he was fairly young with his first one, and I'm guessing kind of young when he died...for a grandpa that is. I was only in 5th grade at the time and my grandma is still here with us today. We'll guess sixtyish...and my dad is well on his way to 60ish.

Anyway, I got to thinking. I don't think I would go to the funeral of anyone who was really close to me. Not like a friend or anything, but my immediate family. I don't know how people sit there while everyone comes up to them to say they are sorry. Ick. I wouldn't be able to handle it. I'd lose my mind. So, yeah, at this point in my life, if my parents, sister, or husband died, I would not go to the funeral. Just putting that out there.

I wasn't going to blog about this until I was reading the weekend issue of the Courier online this morning. A classmate who graduated a year behind me died over the weekend. Eric Sickels. I remember thinking he was cute in Jr. High. I mean, really, that is the face I see when I think of him. It is just kind of surreal and I can't even imagine what his family is going through right now. You always think life here on earth is forever, but it is not.

I guess all you can do is really appreciate what you have while you have it. Make the most out of life, and really...don't sweat the small stuff.

Sorry for the weird morbid post. How's that for a case of the Mondays.

Oh Tunic, How I love thee...

2008-10-17T05:39:00.001-07:00

Well, last night I hit the jackpot. Target had all kinds of tunic style tops on sale for 4-5 dollars a piece. I ordered several. I love wearing these tops over my skirts. Nice and flowy. I ordered all of these while watching Tim Gunn's Guide to Style. He actually said something like the more volume your clothes have, the more volume you appear to have. He said this last week too. Last week's gal had a ton of tunics and babydoll tops. I knew he would be very disappointed as I clicked on the submit order button. I don't care though. I like looking flowy even if I look volumonously flowy:-) I heart Tim Gunn, but I heart my flowiness more. Plus you can lose or gain weight without anyone knowing! Yay for tunics.

I'm just that special

2008-10-16T13:04:00.000-07:00

My co-workers, Jamie and Alicia got me these flowers yesterday with a card that said "to brighten your days. We like to see smiles on your face." Aww! (Does this mean I've been a bear lately?)

They tried to do the whole anonymous thing, but I recognized Alicia's handwriting right off the bat. I sign your handwritten timesheets, so ya can't get by me that easily!!

Thanks ladies!!

More dog pics...cause they are my kids ya know!

2008-10-16T06:42:00.000-07:00

Well the following seems to be the usual for us during evenings and weekends. I seriously can't imagine what will happen once Zeke grows to be bigger than Karma. Well, yes I can. We'll just have to scrunch to fit because who are we kidding. Our dogs rule the roost.

I've also discovered why my little dog jack and are I joined at the hip since I started teaching. I've learned a lot about attachment styles. My attachment style is anxious-ambivalent or preoccupied. This is where you desire close relationships, but are so pre-occupied with the thought of losing those relationships that you get all clingy and can sometimes have a negative impact on the relationships you already have. Well, I think if dogs could have attachment styles, Jack would be pre-occupied as well. So really, since we are both clingy, we just cling on to each other:) There really is something about having him sleeping right next to me at night. I feel so much more relaxed. Funny and somewhat pathetic.

And then here is another picture from my perspective as I sit on the couch. Sometimes Josh and I both sit there and think about how much we love our house. We even say it out loud multiple times a week. We are dorks!

Here and there randomness

2008-10-16T06:02:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd post some random pics that have nothing to do with each other. Here is the very first fall leaf I found in our yard. Now there are millions. But, this beautiful fiery red leaf was hard to miss laying in contrast to the bright green grass in our back yard. Ahhhh, it really is the simple things in life sometimes.

Up next, a night out with friends at the Lava Lounge. Doug makes a mean drink, so watch yourself.

The best SHIRT! of all time! Mike is always good for a laugh.

Brooke and Amanda being crazy.

Amanda, Brooke, Mikayla, me, and Emily.

Some guy, Phil, and Mikayla

And then, we have Shakeem's 8th Birthday! Good times at Chucky Cheese! I still like Showbiz and Billy Bob better!

An eye for an eye

2008-10-15T17:32:00.000-07:00

Damm Gets Death

Niki's Statement

You couldn't subject yourself to being there to hear her cries, why should we hear yours now?

2008-10-15T14:17:00.000-07:00

Crying for you life now, huh, Dave? I mean seriously. "wept and dabbed his eyes as Donnisha's mother was on the stand" ? That man feels no remorse for anything other than the fact that he is facing a life sentence or death. And even if sentenced to death, he will not face the penalty until the moratorium on capital punishment is lifted in Illinois which could be never.Recent Courier Article

I say put him in with the general population. He'll likely get his death sentence there. Wasting anymore time or tax dollars on this man is a slap in the face to Donnisha.

Halloween

2008-10-14T08:34:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, I don't do the dress up thing. I hate it. I'm not creative and can never think of anything. Plus, you always end up being uncomfortable. For the past few years I've been an army girl, wearing my cargo pants and army cap. Or, a painter, wearing the same cap and my big baggie overalls. Both are usual clothes for me, so I'm really not dressing up, and I stay comfortable.

Well, this year I'm actually dressing up, BUT I get to stay cozy! Josh and I are going as Jim and Pam from The Office. And we are going as Jim and Pam in the Office Fun Run Pro Am Race for a Cure for Rabies blah blah blah whatever it is. Pretty much what I lay around in at the house on any given night or weekend (minus the visor). Awesome!!

Abortion and Racism?

2008-10-10T06:09:00.000-07:00

Vitamin Z

You know, I have never thought about abortion in the context of how and where it started and whether or not it was rooted in racism. Don't get me wrong. This is an anti Obama video,and an anti choice video. I do not support either of those things. But I am prompted to do some more research into the roots of abortion and Planned Parenthood.

As with many things that are released from either the right or the left, most times they are highly inflammatory. Thus, I will take this with a grain of salt until I can investigate further.

KCRG News.

2008-10-09T20:15:00.000-07:00

Kcrg video coverage.

EFFING GUILTY!!!!

2008-10-09T15:47:00.000-07:00

All three counts...GUILTY!!!! 1.5 hours to decide. The jurors had smiles on their faces as the handed the judge the decision and made eye contact with my family! I can't wait to watch the news on all of this!

Sometimes it really is just a matter of fact!

2008-10-09T05:46:00.000-07:00

While I don't always agree with my friend Matt, you should head over toMatt's Blog for his recent entry about the latest, greatest visitors to arrive in Cedar Falls. We need more men like Matt to stand up and take a stand about these kinds of issues. Kudos to Matt!!

And I raaaan, I ran so far awaaaay. I couldn't get away.

2008-10-09T05:36:00.000-07:00

I guess if Duran Duran can stand the test of time, so too can 80s fashion. I walked by the following display in Kmart yesterday. I felt obligated to document the tragedy despite my fight or flight reflex kicking in. I mean, I guess if we are going to do this, we are gonna go all the way. I remember my first beret. I thought I was so fricking cool. I think I was in 4th or 5th grade. I wore that thing everywhere. And of course I had leg warmers. They fit best and looked best fit snuggly over jeans. mmmmm....comfy, cozy and fashionable...HA!!! Thank goodness it is all back.

As if we didn't already know this...

2008-10-09T05:04:00.000-07:00

But, David Damm is a scumbag. I'm sure most of you are reading along in the Courier, but here's my mom's account of his testimony.

She said that although he cried, and tried to appear upset, there was nothing about his actual voice or body language that indicated he was upset. He was cold and uncaring. She also said that there was one jury member who she had not seen make any kind of facial expressions to show where he was at with this whole thing, well he was having trouble not laughing at Dave as he cried. Apparently most of the jury were so disgusted by his behavior that they didn't even look directly at him after a bit (well, that is what we are hoping was the reason).

After he "cried", he would then smirk throughout his testimony. Anytime the prosecution caught him up in something he'd just smirk. And he never showed any remorse or sadness during cross. I mean, if I were sad, I'd be sad throughout. But, clearly it was a show.

I'm just stunned at what is clearly their failed defense for this man. We kept wondering why they would mention my sister so much. WE kept wondering what was the point of trying to make Donnis look like a violent jerk to Niki and the kids. Well, Dave is asserting that Donnisha just had to get away. Begged him to take her so she could run away forever. Well, if they could have made a case that Donnis was a jerk, that might have gone over better. She may have been scared of her father and tired of being abused. Well, that attempt failed miserably. No one testified that Donnis was abusive. Huh. Sucks for you Dave.

And what 60 year old decides it is probably best to just help a 13 year old run away? Don't you talk to the parents at that point, or report to DHS if you actually suspect abuse? And then he supposedly just dropped her off at a phone booth to meet Burt? Okay, 13 year old girl, I am going to drop you off here. Then a stranger you have never met who is also a crack head is going to pick you up and you need to get in the car with him. REally? Duh, Dude. Not much of a story there.

And the thing with my sister. Well, Dave actually mentioned her as well. Saying she stopped in once to make a payment on Niki's car. Well, I think they were also going to say they were trying to blackmail Dave with sexual abuse allegations in order to get the car loan forgiven or whatever. And since my sister was the first person to talk to her about the Sexual abuse...well she clearly knew about the car loan because she made a payment, and she probably planted the ideas of sexual abuse in Donnisha's head. Number 1, there was no making DNA up. Number 2, DUH! But, since they never put Angela on the stand, they really couldn't make that attack either.

So, my sister finally gets to go into day. Poor girl. Mom thinks keeping her on the back burner probably kept the defense confused, worried, off track, or whatever. Always anticipating being able to come on strong with that argument, and then never getting to. So, good for the big picture, but bad for her as she did need this for closure. Not sure what will happen from here as far as how she'll cope.

Rebuttal happens today. And then it will be turned over to the jury early this afternoon. At this point, I don't see how you deliberate for even an hour. But, I guess I'm biased. I don't even want to know what would happen if he doesn't get found guilty. So, let's just pray, meditate, and put our energy toward the outcome that we want. GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY!!!!

Pinwheel Pinwheel Spinning Around...

2008-10-08T06:09:00.000-07:00

Take a look at this article about wind energy in Iowa. I knew these wind towers were huge, but from a far, you just never realize how big they are. Look at the pic in the article with the car driving past one of the blades. Crazy, but exciting! Go Iowa!!

Ding Dong the Witch is Dead

2008-10-07T19:29:00.000-07:00

Emporium Pets is closing due to tax evasion! Puppy Mill supporting pet store will be no longer! Although thankful to this day for my lil Zeke, I will never again support this type of horrendous store!! Thankfully there is going to be one less in this world.

Damm testifies tomorrow!

2008-10-07T19:14:00.000-07:00

He should go all day. Rebuttals are Thursday and then it goes to the jury!

Six Corners Kwik Star

2008-10-07T06:11:00.000-07:00

I know I go in there a lot! I get my coffee there everyday, and prior to moving, we were in there multiple times a day. But, today as I was getting my coffee, I hear a voice behind me say, "Did you get your hair cut again Stacy?" I look back and it was (I think) Barb. I feel bad because I don't know her name, but she works there and she knows my name. Kind of like Hansen Dairy, it just made me feel nice that she took the time to know who the heck I was. Makes you feel more small townish. I guess I like that. Definitely re-affirms the value of my efforts to take time to tell people thank you, and have a great day, and all the other things I say to people I meet along the way instead of just paying for my stuff and leaving without a word.

I guess it is the little things that make me smile.

BTW, I cut my hair again if you didn't get that:)

Week Two, Day One...Mom's Report.

2008-10-07T05:51:00.000-07:00

Well, after talking to my mom last night, I guess the jury is still actually laughing out loud at the defense attorneys. From the sounds of it, they are a joke, which leads me to fear that there will be grounds for a mistrial due to inadequate representation. But, I don't know how that all works.

But, apparently they number one just left subpoenas on people's door steps instead of handing them to them. Number two, of those who did come to testify, they had never actually talked to them in regards to what info they would testify. One friend of the family was called to drive all the way down there yesterday only to not provide the information the defense wanted to hear, so they sent him home without testifying. DUH.

They continued to try to make a case that Donnisha's dad was an abusive man, but that didn't happen. And, I'm still curious why that would matter anyway? All in all, most of the witnesses for the defense turned out to confirm most of what the prosecution was presenting. Most of the witnesses called to "verify" that Burt turned "crazy" during a come down actually said, "no, not so much".

Oh, and as Burt's ex was heading up to testify, the prosecution got up to help her because she has a hard time walking. She was a witness for the defense and they just sat there and watched her struggle, so the prosecution got up to assist.

Today might be the last day of testimony before the jury goes in for deliberation. I hope that really happens.

Week Two.

2008-10-06T14:17:00.000-07:00

According to my sis, the defense pretty much sucked today. Few of their witnesses showed, and they couldn't eve fill a full day. Court was called early.

However, I would like to say that this article and the testimony in it is insane. If the defense thinks that the domestic abuse Burt perpetrated on his girlfriend is proof that he is a violent person, they are crazy. Batterer's are seldom randomly violent toward other people. They reserve this violence for the ones the "love". So, I hope they have others that prove he was violent after his crack highs. And I hope the jury sees through this ridiculous defense.

My thoughts exactly.

2008-10-03T16:14:00.000-07:00

hrmph

2008-10-02T13:42:00.000-07:00

The Rape Kit Contro

Jon Stewart makes me giggle as I drift to sleep.

2008-10-02T05:08:00.000-07:00

As always, I love Jon Stewart!
He is hilarious and given my current predisposition for head shaking when it comes to Sarah Palin, I heart him even more. BTW, what is this about victims have to pay for their rape kits in her state or town? I need more info about this. Likely something having to do with legislation rather than her as an individual...I WOULD HOPE!!!!

I can't really talk about foreign affairs or why we are in a financial crisis with much factual backing, but it appears to me that she can't either. But, maybe I'm wrong since I don't know my head from my a$$ when it comes to those matters. If I ignore what I perceive as her lack of basic knowledge regarding things she should have extensive knowledge about, I'll turn my attention to her politics as usual bologna. She won't just ANSWER a question.

I just don't get why she can't name a newspaper or magazine she read..."Just all of them...any of them". Why can't she say "yes I want it to be illegal for a victim of rape to get an abortion" instead of talking around it and saying "she'll counsel for life." Or not owning up to a sarcastic jab she made regarding how old and predictable Joe Biden is..."I remember hearing his speeches when I was just a little girl.. hardy har har." Okay great, but then don't come off as "oh no i was just saying how experienced he is."

Sarah Palin

2008-10-01T19:16:00.001-07:00

Well, I'm done asking for people to back off. She is seriously struggling as far as I'm concerned. It is nearly as painful to watch her in an interview as it is to watch Bush speaking at length.

My issues are too numerous to name.

Let's just say, I'm hoping she has stepped up her game for Thursday evening.

Couric/Palin Interviews at CBS

Little ol'me?

2008-10-01T17:27:00.000-07:00

I seem to have caused a stir on campus already. A certain athletic academic advisor sent me an email request for current grades on his players. Being that I work in a field where I need a release for everything, I automatically checked with my Dept. Head to be sure I was okay to release such info via an email request. He did not like the sounds of it. HE instructed me to let the guy know I needed the appropriate forms, and he contacted the Dean of Students. YIKES!

So today all professors get an email stating that we can go online to access these forms to fill out, blah blah blah. I figured, great. No problem. Well now there are crazy mass emails of professors who are annoyed by this process and would rather have paper forms which used to get sent out in the first place. So, I don't know what is going on, or if I caused all this drama, or what. I figured when I asked about it, my DH would say, "yeah go ahead. that is how we do it." I never figured I'd be creating mass confusion for all.

Leave it to me. Not to mention, I look like the "typical" feminist causing a stir for the "typical" sport that said feminist might typically cause a stir about :) Seriously not my intention. Maybe 10 years ago, but I'm too old for those games now.

Seriously, Courier?

2008-10-01T17:19:00.001-07:00

How do they choose their headlines?

Tuesdays paper: Victim purposely takes wrong bus.

I get that this is a fact. I get that it is okay to report this information. But to lead off with it? In this day and age, people love to blame the victim. This type of headline sets that mentality into action even for the most victim friendly person. Der. How disappointing. Oh well.

Today was a good day. Lots of good evidence. Lots of the defense looking like a moron. The jury even snickered at them at one point. Nice:) Also, at lunch the owner of the restaurant bought their lunch and said some really kind words. It is nice when the world actually cares.

Everyone is home as there is no court tomorrow. They will go back for Friday and come back again for the weekend.

Looks like they might even wrap up by next week, and even have a verdict late next week early the following. Prosecution is set to wrap up soon, and the defense has aprx 2 days of information to present. So, we shall see. It be nice to have a verdict so soon. There are still a lot of stages of the game to complete once that happens which is why they estimate 6 weeks for the entire thing. But, I guess I was thinking 6 weeks until we had a verdict. The light is at the end of the tunnel for everyone down there which is awesome.

Sister is still on the "possible but probably not" witness list. Infuriated is the only way I can imagine she feels right now. She's too strong to let it show though.

Can't seem to get moving.

2008-09-30T05:54:00.000-07:00

I don't know if it is because Josh is laid off this week, or maybe it's just life, but I can seem to get any fire under my butt. Oh well. This too shall pass.

So, not a lot of updating from the trail. Mom called last night and said this week seems to be harder for some reason. Not due to content though. I think more so because last week was so adrenaline fueled. They had waited 2 years for last week. Now that it has started they just have to keep plugging away. It looks as though the prosecution will go most of this week and my sister is still a big fat question mark on the witness list. So, she's still out of the room. Annoying!!!! Poor girl.

Video of the infamous bus stop was shown. I know I've been thinking this whole time, "stupid bus driver". But, as with everything, don't judge until you know the situation. She tried to stop Donnisha. She even threatened suspension from school. The last thing she thought was that she was letting a girl off to get murdered. And with a bus load of kids, what was she supposed to do? The only thing she could do. Report her to the school so she'd be reprimanded later. The thing that sucks is that this will probably be used against Donnisha. As if her wanting to see Dave means she deserved what she got.

It really just sucks how much these perpetrators brainwash our children. I mean, she really thought Dave had her best interest at heart. She thought she was being taken care of and that this was appropriate behavior. I'm sure she felt "loved". Heck, while she was being killed, she probably thought Burt was acting on his own accord. It probably never once entered her mind why this was really happening. Makes me wonder whether I ever want to bring children into this world full of yuck.

Aaaah, The Office

2008-09-26T06:13:00.000-07:00

I needed that! I was pleased with The Office last night. Lots of good laughs, and P&J got engaged. Yessss!

So, now I have another non-reality TV show in which to immerse myself. Happiness.

The what if's will drive you crazy

2008-09-26T05:31:00.000-07:00

Well, a Wloo cop testified yesterday. I am not going to put any blame on him because he did not kill Donnisha, but the following is so absolutely devastating.

I believe this was reported in the paper as well. He saw Burt at the Casey's on 63 on his way to get Donnisha. They knew each other, and he noticed Burt acting weird. He noticed he wasn't driving his usual car. He knew he did not have a license. He knew he usually did not venture out of his neighborhood.

He couldn't have arrested him, but he could have issued a citation. For a guy coming down off a crack high about to murder a little girl...well it seems to me some questioning from a police officer about what he was doing, and a ticket issued, might have been enough to make him panic and say hell no!

Apparently the cop was too busy tending to his missed call on his phone to do anything more than notice him.

What if's break my heart.

2008-09-25T10:32:00.000-07:00

More about yesterday here.

Mom says when they called and end to the day yesterday, the defense was falling apart. Burt wasn't responding the way they had hoped and the cross examining attorney was fumbling over his words and questions. I'm curious to see if they regrouped today, and what happened when they got him back on the stand.

More about my KWWL experience.

2008-09-25T05:48:00.000-07:00

Can I just say it was WEIRD!!!

First off, it was hard because I had to sit on set while they talked about Donnisha's case. I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to pull it together for my interview.

Secondly, watching them "prep" for going on air is hilarious. I mean, I'm sure I would do this too, but they look at themselves in the monitor and do this and that and move this way and that way and make this face and that face to make sure they look okay. I had trouble not laughing out loud.

Then to see Jeff Kennedy do the weather in front of nothing. I mean, I knew it was a green screen, but to see it happen was so funny. Talking about and pointing to things that simply were not there. That would be hard to get used to I would think.

Everyone was really nice though, and made me feel at ease. The guy who had to mic me got all nervous because I was wearing a tank top. He wasn't sure where to put it, and didn't want to be "feeling me up" or anything. I finally said, "you want me to stick up under my shirt and through the top?" He liked that idea, so we went with it.

Who remembers?

2008-09-24T19:05:00.001-07:00

Thad and Derek Peck?

Check out You Tube.

Search for "28 years Full Force."

Enjoy.

Abso-frickn-lutely

2008-09-24T18:08:00.000-07:00

My KWWL appearance

How many times can one women say absolutely. I may have set a record. Oh well. At least our message got out:)

Her Last Moments

2008-09-24T17:20:00.000-07:00

He helped her out of the car and cornered her with his body and the car door. He hit her in the head with basically a sledge hammer with a short handle.

She got wobbly and asked for Dave.

He hit her again and she fell to her knees. She told him she had 150 dollars he could have. (She was trying to buy her life!!!)

He asked her where it was. In her pocket, she said. He hit her again and she slumped to the ground and took her money.

He then hit her again and she lost consciousness.

Then, to make sure she was dead he "sawed" on her neck awhile with a knife.

My mom said he was the most cold hearted person. No feeling, no remorse. Just the facts. My sister still did not get in to the room. Amazing. She is so strong. I just hope she will lean on people when she needs to do so.

I'm still so amazed. I who thought that pure evil resided right here in Waterloo Iowa all this time. That is the only thing these two men can be. Pure evil. If you don't decide this is a bad idea when you buy the camera to document the death, or secure the car and the weapons to carry out the deed, or drive and entire two hours when all you had to do was turn around and say no, why did you not look in those little girls eyes after the first time you hit her, and heard her plead with you, and decide, no, not today. This is not right? I don't understand.

Those of you who live by God's plan (and I'm sorry because I love those of you who do.) I say eff God's plan. What plan is this? A plan to put Satan back on Earth to violate and murder little girls? Great plan. Great effing plan. Kudos.

FYI...She was a real live girl.

2008-09-24T12:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had to deal with people discussing this case as if it was just some random case. Someone made a crack alluding to the fact that as a police officer or whoever, it would be annoying to have to go all the way to Galena to testify. Yeah sucks for you. Maybe you'd rather trade places with Donnisha? Or how about I go testify and you can know her personally and listen to people talk about her like she was no one special...just another case.

I'm guilty, though. I see so many victims in my office and they do become just another story sometimes. When the personal connection is not there, you don't want to get connected. It would be too painful to connect to everyone. It is easier to forget that people are real and their pain is real.

Anyway, here are a few pics of her, Vonnisha, and Shakeem.

Day Three

2008-09-24T11:52:00.000-07:00

This morning's testimony...Burt.

My sister still was unable to be in the room. I can't wait to hear first hand from my mom what went down today. Certainly there is more to Burt's testimony than this. Did he not speak of her demeanor? Did he not speak to whether whe was scared or hurting or crying? It just makes it seem so non-eventful. I hit her with a hammer and she asked me where Dave was? I mean, wtf??? As awful as it sounds, I want to know what the frick happened.... emotionally, physically, everything. She should not have to be the only one who went through that. Other people besides those assholes should have to feel some of her pain and suffering. She was too sweet and wonderful to bear that on her own.

WCF Courier Coverage

2008-09-24T05:54:00.000-07:00

Courier Coverage

Here is the direct site the WCF Courier has set up for the trial. Every article they write is cataloged there. It would be a good one to bookmark if you are following the case. I'll continue to post my family's reports as well.

Thanks for everyone's support.
Stacy

Day Two

2008-09-23T17:49:00.000-07:00

And the saga continues.

As of right now, Burt goes on tomorrow. My sister still can't be in the room and it is killing her. She needs this for closure as much as everyone else. Donnis is going to try to convince the prosecution that they need to call her first and allow her to be in the room for Burt's testimony.

Also, it is amazing how even police officers forget the facts. Although these facts were not important to the case, Officer Wessels of the WPD testified about his response, I think the night they reported the sexual abuse before Donnisha was murdered. Although my family and her family have all suffered trauma and could have skewed memories of the events, no one remembers that night the same way he does. It was a completely different recollection of events. Another reason why it was helpful for the defense to put this case off for 2 years. People forget the little details that are needed in a case like this even the people we would expect to remember these thing.

Another Courier article.

2008-09-23T12:55:00.000-07:00

Here.

Paraphrase: Damm and Burt bought a polaroid camera to be used to prove the job was done.

I don't know why, but this sent me over the edge today. I still can't wrap my mind around the planning that took place for this to occur.

I have never had hate in my heart for anyone more so than I do for David Damm.

I talked to my sister today. She can't be in the courtroom yet because she will be testifying. She is upset. Today they were showing the photos of Donnisha at the crime scene as well as in the autopsy. She needed that for closure. She hopes to view these things at a later date. AS awful as it seems it would be, I can understand.

1st Day of Trial

2008-09-23T04:57:00.000-07:00

Here is the Courier article.

What the article doesn't tell you are the really awful things they heard today. It appears as if they are going to make the argument that Dave Damm hired Bruce Burt to take Donnisha somewhere so he could meet up with them and talk to Donnisha...convince her not to talk to the police anymore about the sexual abuse. AFter all he is a used car salesman and it would make sense that he'd want to use those "skills" to get out of this situation. I hope he rots.

I'm sure during the autopsy testimony and Burt's testimony more will come out, but drawings were presented of Donnisha's body. She had several cuts from a knife on her neck and throat. None of which killed her. She was also hit with a hammer on the head 3 times. It was not until the third and final blow that she likely died. It is so awful to have to think about what her last minutes must have been like.

It was also difficult for everyone there because her personal affects had to be identified. I think it is probably easy to remove yourself from the "reality" of it all when it is just a memory. When you have to see real things that belonged to her, I would think it is like she is back in the room in a way...a very untouchable, and sorrowful way.

I'm so glad I'm am not here listening to this first hand. I don't know how everyone else is doing it. Please join me in sending energy and prayer that David Damm is found guilty.

Here is another that talks a little more indepth.

May Justice be Done...Finally.

2008-09-19T16:49:00.000-07:00

Take a little trip down memory lane.

2008-09-18T16:21:00.001-07:00

Yearbook yourself!

So much for not being political....

2008-09-18T16:21:00.000-07:00

But, abortion is one of those hot topics for me. I'm not about dragging Ms. Palin through the mud, but I definitely don't agree with her stance on abortion.

Read more here.

VW Commerical? TC Jab? Maybe both?

2008-09-16T17:04:00.000-07:00

Below are two video clips. Both 4+ minutes long. One is of the new VW Routan Boom extended ad campaign of which there are shorter versions aired regularly on TV. The second is the Matt Lauer's interview with Tom Cruise regarding Psychiatry and Brooke Shields.

When I saw the 30 second commercial spots for the VWRB, I didn't put it together at first. I just thought it was weird. But, the more I see them, the more I think there might be a slight unspoken jab at Tom Cruise. She in some ways, acts eerily like Tom during his interview when discussing the "problem" of having babies for german engineering. Maybe I'm way out in left field.

I'm amused. So I guess that is all that matters. Hardy, har, har.

Can the Media Just Lay Off?

2008-09-16T08:16:00.000-07:00

For the record, I do not support the Republican VP nominee, Sarah Pallin. From what I can tell, she pretty much stands against a lot of the things that I support. I respect her in that she has followed her dream and seems to be quite successful in the things she loves doing. I do not enjoy what I interpret as her passive aggressive stabs at the Democrats and specifically Obama. I wish she would just focus on why she thinks she rocks it out!

And, I wish the media would do the same in regards to her. First of all, you are supposed to be unbiased. I want to hear it all. The OBJECTIVE good and bad about all the candidates. All I hear about is Sarah Pallin lately. (I almost forgot who the Dem VP nom was) It's usually not good, whether it is issue related or trying to tarnish the 'popular' girl's image. This is going to allienate people. Sarah Pallin will soon become the Boston Red Sox or the Cubbies of the election. Root root root for the underdog.

To some degree we saw the same negative attacks on Hillary. I think those attacks were more personal than issue related. I did not support those attacks either, and I think they had a different impact for Hillary. She was never seen as an underdog, number one because she was a Clinton. Number two (which I believe is more telling of our sad state of affairs), sympathy did not run deep for her in the media nor among the undecided because she was not seen as an attractive soccer mom who made sure her husband and children were taken care of first and foremost. Now, I'm not placing value on how either one of these women have traversed the tight rope of life. More than likely, they have both made similar choices in response to juggling career and family. I will just say that those who are undecided may lean more toward Pallin based on an emotional response. Voting based on emotion? Now where have I heard that before?

I would really like her to start her interviews! I want to hear from her, not what the media thinks they know about her. Let's hear her plans, lets her stance's, lets hear her truths! She tells me she is against the Bridge to Nowhere. The media tells me "not at first". I want to hear more than a speech aimed to rile up the masses. I want to hear her discuss, in depth, from where she is coming and why.

Poor Karma

2008-09-16T08:07:00.000-07:00

She just can't win. But, maybe the following explains why she has been such a grumpy gus lately.

Karma is a sick dog:( Josh came home to a house reeking of poo, and poor Karma was trapped in her kennel with explosive diarrhea. Poor girl was outside the minute we let her out of her kennel trying poo more, but couldn't. I took her to the vet and she had to stay the night. Her temp was down, she was dehydrated, and her packed cell volume was very high. All indicative of at least pancreatitis, if not something more serious.

This morning, I am happy to hear that it is "just" pancreatitis and nothing more. Apparently an illness to which Boxers can be prone. She'll need a special diet of course! What animal have I ever owned that has not needed some type of ongoing special diet or meds. Seriously, I think I suffer from munchausen by proxy, but with pets instead of kids. I know my Seeds girls will get a kick out of that one!

A Break from Reality

2008-09-15T19:28:00.000-07:00

Well my friends and family will be thrilled to know I'm back on the fictional television bandwagon. Well, fictional in that it is marketed as fiction as opposed to reality which is, in fact, also fiction. Ya follow? I have been addicted to Bravo, A&E, MTV, VH1, E!, and all things horribly, hideously dubbed realtiy tv. But as of last night, although one week late, I'm back on the HBO train! Woot woot!

First off, we have the tried and true...Entourage. A half an hour with Adrian Grenier is really all any girl could ask for on a Sunday night.

Secondly, we have a new show, True Blood, that I'm hooked on already after seeing the second episode. I'll have to back track and catch the opener. Kaari, you may want to look into this given your newly acquired taste for hot blood sucking romance.

Now, don't you go worrying your pretty little heads. I've still got Project Runway to wrap up, Tabitha's Salon Take Over, and I'll always anxiously await the return of my favorite OCD, Jeff Lewis from Flipping Out. NO ONIONS!!!!!

Happy Anniversary to Us!

2008-09-14T18:23:00.000-07:00

Well, we made it a year! I still look back at that day and love every moment of it. I still look back at the 3+ years we've been together and wouldn't change a thing. What a great life we've made together. Here's to many more years!

9/11 Remembered

2008-09-11T11:50:00.000-07:00

This is some footage my friend Matt posted on his blog. I have to say I never saw the footage from before we knew what had happened. It is from the Today Show, and to hear them speculate on whether there might be air traffic control problems at one point is just crazy knowing what we do now. I really almost started crying just watching this. You know at that point no one was moving. Everyone was probably waiting for further instructions when they could have been running out of the building. No one knew what was about to happen. And the people above the crash. Ugh. It makes my heart ache. I can't even imagine being someone who had a loved one die in this tragedy. I'd never be able to watch the footage again. Knowing I was watching my loved one about to die. So sad.

I just can't get enough!

2008-09-11T07:37:00.000-07:00

Aww. How can you not take a picture of that. And then of course, I had to take a pic of the other two:)

But, lets be honest, we are Boxer people for life. I love Luce and Jack, but we will eventually be an all boxer family someday, I suspect. We are in no hurry though. We were just talking the other day about whether a vet might come out to the house to put a dog down instead of us taking them there, so they are not as scared during their last moments. Then Josh said, "I'll have to make dad take Lucy." I said, "No, I'll be there with her. I'll want her to know we love her." And we both almost started crying. Like for 5 minutes we had to keep each other's mind off it because we were so saddened by the thought. :'(

And here is a pic of Caesar!

Clint and Tanya Fuller just moved into one of the houses we looked at buying in the neighborhood. I haven't seen them forever, and Josh ran into him at the Disc Golf Park. So Caesar came to play. He wanted to make babies with Karma and she wasn't having that at all! He is so big! I can't believe the size difference in male and female boxers. It has been a long time since I was around a male. I'm pumped for Zeke to get that big! Caesar stood head and shoulders above Karma and he had a huge block head. Zeke's head is already too big for his body! Yay! I'm so excited.

They wouldn't all stand pretty for me. Oh well!

Pet Peeves

2008-09-10T18:38:00.000-07:00

One of my biggest pet peeves is bad grammar, poor spelling, etc. As I re-read some of my entries, I noticed that I sometimes leave off an 's' or forget a comma or something else. My readers deserve better than this. So, I will try my best to proofread from here on out!

Another pet peeve. Gossip. Well, no. I love to gossip. But, I hate it when gossip breads completely false information. Apparently there is a pack of pitbulls running around my neighborhood and they killed a puppy. Except that they are not pitbulls, they are not running around the neighborhood, and they did not kill anything. So annoying!

Cause I'm the tax man, oh oh I'm the tax man.

2008-09-10T14:10:00.000-07:00

Once again, I don't plan on having an overly political blog here, but I'm annoyed by a recent McCain ad that shows middle class Americans while stating something like "he (Obama) plans to raise taxes...blah blah blah." Okay, from my understanding which is very little, he is planning on raising taxes but only a minority of the population. Those making 250,000 a year or more. I really don't think it is fair to scare people into thinking their taxes will be raised. Again, the reason I HATE politics. The ads tell part of the story and most people don't do the research...myself included. It happens on both sides, but this is one of the few I've seen so far because I rarely pay any attention. Honestly, I vote for the social issues I agree with, so the tax thing really doesn't make a difference for me one way or the other. Even if I were getting taxed, I'd rather have that than someone who is the polar opposite of me in the White House when it comes to the social issues. But, geesh people, can we just get the facts.

One Proud Mama!

2008-09-08T18:09:00.000-07:00

Karma gets a gold star today!! Oh I'm just so thrilled! We've been taking treats with us on walks since Thursday's meeting at k9 Playhouse with Connie Apling! <------Amazing woman. The treats help redirect her focus and associate other dogs with yummy snacks. We also found a great trail for walking. Not sure why I haven't taken advantage of it up til now. Anyway, we deviated from the trail and ventured back into our neighborhood where we'd have a better chance of a dog encounter. Although it had been a short time, I was ready to test the waters of our new training techniques.

And dogs we did encounter. Some people were sitting on their porch with 2 dogs and they came charging after Karma. Karma of pre-Thursday would have charged back. Karma post Thursday enjoyed some yummy ham! She raised her mohawk just a bit, but was much more interested in the tasty snack than the stupid dogs who were sniffing her butt. The owners came down so apologietic of their dogs and impressed by her. What a GOOD dog they said! They got their dogs and we were on our way without incident! And a compliment to boot! Good thing the neighborhood is on RED ALERT to watch out for my pack of dogs on the loose. We are a frightful bunch.

Quote to live by

2008-09-07T19:44:00.000-07:00

How others treat you is THEIR karma. How you respond is yours.~thanks josie!

This was oh so important to remember this weekend. Most of my close friends are aware of my on going neighbor problem and it escalated to an all new high this weekend.

Long story short for those who don't know. Neighbors dog got into our yard, and our dogs hurt him pretty badly. After them calling animal control on us with them finding nothing against us, me trying to talk to them in a very respectful, sympathetic manner and them saying they'd call me back to resolve the matter, and them continually alledging our dogs got into their yard and dragged their dog back to our yard, wegot a registered letter threatening legal action if we did not put up a different fence and pay vet bills AND they disseminated an ALERT flyer around the neighborhood telling neighbors to watch out for my pack of dogs roaming the neighborhood. Protect your kids and pets...oh and the elderly man with the seeing eye dog. DUH!!!!

So, after a lot of crying, yelling, and stress on my part, my mom helped me put a letter to the neighborhood together. It is not defensive at all, and says nothing about my neighbor's ridiculous behavior. It simply gives them our info, acknowledges the event, reassures them about our dogs being contained in a fence, and that if they have any questions about the incident or our dogs, that they can give us a call anytime or stop by the house. I was very happy with it. The neighbors who put out the ALERT were not. My guess is because we came off looking normal, and they are being crazy. All the neighbors we talked to we so nice and understanding. It made me feel so much better about the situation. I can handle dealing with these crazies, I just couldn't handle lies being told to the entire neighborhood. Anyway, they are now threatening to get the mayor and city council involved. I say go ahead. Animal control didn't cite us for anything. They gave us a warning for barking, but not even a warning for biting because it happened in OUR yard. I can't wait to see what else these people have up their sleeves. I just wish they'd stop being passive aggressive and just talk to us. Oh well. I tried. Now I can only continue to choose how to respond to their actions.

1 Box of 9 down...

2008-09-07T19:23:00.001-07:00

There was once a day where peeps were only available in the spring around the time of Easter. Well, we now know they come in all shapes and sizes, and they are out in full effect for Halloween. I bought a box of ghosts and a box of pumpkins tonight. I have eaten the entire box of ghosts so far. If you need corroboration on this fact, please talk to Mariah. She is familiar with my weakness, as she has a similar one. BTW, Mariah, the Cadbury Eggs are out, too:) Have fun!! Josh has eaten 2 so far. I'll keep a count going for you!

P.S. You can't have a peep blog without addressing the "how do you like your peeps" question. I can eat them just opened fresh (obviously since I ate a whole box), but I do prefer them to be open for a day or so and then eat them. My dad opts for the staler the better option. He likes to hear them snap. I prefer not to break my teeth on them!

Good Karma, Bad Karma.

2008-09-05T05:48:00.000-07:00

Well, we took Karma to the K9 Playstation (i think that is what it is called). We got the stamp of approval that she is not an aggressive dog, but she does have a lower tolerance for high excitability situations. Thus, it is up to us as owners to control the situations she is in and work with her to change her behaviors in certain circumstances. I'm excited to get started with her! I was a little let down because not and hour after we got back she did one of her freak outs on Jack! Grr! Makes it feel like it'll never get better, but we just have to commit to doing it and be patient. We were told that because we do have a "pack" living in our house, that we will see pack behavior. If Karma feels she needs to correct Jack she will. It is up to us to try to keep them out of situations where Karma feels that way. So, we shall see what happens.

Additionally, we got confirmation from her that Emporium Pets does get their puppies from puppy mills! SADNESS!!! So, again, lets remember what this means. Yes, all Zeke's lil bros and sisters are probably in happy little homes, BUT where is Zeke's mama? She is probably laying in a kennel somewhere in poor health and pregnant again. I'm sure she looks like Karma, so it breaks my heart to think of little Karma-marma stuck in a situation like this. Puppy mills = Evil! Stores that sell puppies = evil! What we learned yhesterday was that true breeders aren't in it for the money and they don't generally make money. The breed out of love for the breed. The make sure both parents are good dogs for breeding healthwise and tempermentwise. They do all kinds of health tests, shots, check ups, etc for both the parents and the pups. The goal is not reproduction for the sake of selling puppies, but rather reproduction for the sake of providing people with quality dogs who are healthy and happy! Thus, any reputable breeder would never sell their dogs in the paper or at a store. Breeders who take the time to breed the "right" way, are known by people who educated about this stuff and have no problem finding a home for these babies. Unfortunately, there are way too many people like me out there who think a pup is a pup is a pup unless I want a "show dog". This just isn't true. So, even back yard breeders are looked down upon. Which for me, it is better than the mills because at least mom isn't usually trapped in some dark kennel somewhere. She is a loved family dog. But, as for the other stuff, BYBs don't neccesarily know the facts when it comes to health and temperment. Pretty interesting stuff which again, I've never thought about.

Anyway, she has got a great set up out there and I'm thinking of enrolling Jack, our rat terrier, in a class so he can move on to an agility class. She's got a whole building set up like those courses you see on animal planet. I think he'd love it, and he would expend all the nervous energy he has! I'll let you know if we go through with it!

Teaching

2008-09-02T05:42:00.000-07:00

I just realized I have not posted about teaching. Can I just say it is awesome. I know I've only got a week under my belt and perhaps it is still the honeymoon. But, honestly, I'm a natural if I do say so myself. I haven't been nervous or had trouble filling the time or anything. And, from what I can tell, the students are very receptive to the content and myself!

I met with the Dept. Head on Friday, and he was very happy to hear I was enjoying it. He encouraged me to look into getting my PhD in Family Studies in Ames. If the semester goes as well as it is now, I may look into it! Could my dream of being a professor come true? Seems like it might be a possibility. How awesome would that be????

Wedding Bliss!

2008-09-02T05:27:00.001-07:00

Well, this was a long, but great weekend. Friday night we had the rehearsal, the dinner, and the party. Mental note: when one has to be up at 8:00 AM and ready to go all day long and into the night, one should not be up partying until 2:30 AM the night before. UGH. And actually, I was supposed to take my dad and step mom to the airport at 5:55 AM. I set my alarm for 5 to tell them they needed to drive themselves because I was, in fact, still drunk. Sorry:( So, I drug myself out of bed a bit later than intended, but made it there with bells on! It was a great day, and from my observations most things went off without a hitch.

Sara, the beautiful bride.

Crystal, Kala, and me
Me n Seth

My hair...I refused wedding hair and felt this was an excellent compromise!

And then, for the rest of the weekend, we went boating! Josh wanted to go to the Mississippi on Sunday, but I was way too tired to do that after the crazy wedding extravaganza! So, we went to East Lake here at home. Yes, the river would have been more fun, but we made the most of it! It is fun being boat people! Although somewhere along the line, I screwed my neck up completely. I was in some pretty intense pain on Monday morning. Oh well, some Tylenol 3s and I was good to go! We went out again on Monday and I did some tubing behind the boat. That is always a good time. And now I am sore in even more parts of my body!

So, now it's a short week, and I'm already hoping it goes by fast!

Debbie Downer Alert: More Puppy Mill info!

2008-08-27T11:18:00.001-07:00

Well here is a sad story of what happens in puppy mills.
http://www.dogforums.com/2-general-dog-forum/34546-my-new-foster-rescue.html

and here is more from the same person still dealing with and negotiating the behaviors produced by traumatic life this dog has been through.
http://www.dogforums.com/3-dog-training-forum/34654-need-advice-helping-extremely.html

I think for many we figure, well so what if they are bred in mass quantity? They go out to the stores and everyone loves a cute puppy, and they'll get adopted and go to good homes. Well, I ask you, what about the mamas and papas of these cute little puppies? It would be my guess that Annie, the dog in this link, was one of the dogs who was used to breed. She is an older dog who has been horribly neglected and has never seen the outside world. So sad, and so the reason NOT to support pet stores who sell cute little puppies. There are so many Annie's out there in the world being used to mass produce without any consideration to her happiness or health. People are sick. Basically factory farming, but for domestic animals. Ugh!

Seriously, STOP IT!

2008-08-26T19:48:00.000-07:00

Gonna need ya to Google the following:

Katie and tight roll.

I'm not much for celeb gossip, however, I'm a sucker for bad 80s fashion comebacks gossip. So, I'm sorry Katie. I don't know what's going on with you, nor do I really care. I am however very interested in those hot tightroll pants you are sporting.

For a three hour tour (a three hour tour)

2008-08-25T13:41:00.001-07:00

Well no three hour tours just yet, but here is our new boat. New to us that is. Apparently it is a 1975 Glastron. I don't pay attention to these things, I just call it our ski behind boat that holds 6 people. Apparently the lower gears need some fixin, so we are just waiting on that to get done. Josh's dad was nice enough to snatch up this great deal on our behalf! Thanks Mark!

Here I am being a dork in our ski behind boat:)

My my my...Once Bitten Twice Shy Baby..except not so much shy!

2008-08-25T13:20:00.000-07:00

Well you might wonder how two 30 somethings might spend their day off together. A nice lunch, some great convo, maybe catch a great movie, or some real "grown up" activity. Not for Mariah and me! We like to go to Kohls. Seems reasonable, right?
Well here we are looking normal. Well...aside from taking a photo in the dressing room. One may want to cover their eyes for the next three photos...I DID WARN YOU!!!
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HOT!

SEXY!!!!

MAMAS!!!!

Okay, so you are probably wondering "what the heck"? Well, we stopped in Kohls for appropriate purposes. HOwever, when we came across these doozies, we had to try them on for old times sake. This would have been the perfect 9th grade dance dress 12ish years ago. Apparently, it is perfect again! UGH. Why are these in the Juniors department? Why are they in any department really? Either way, at our own expense and our modesty out the window, we had to try them on and document the hideousness. I'm proud to say the size 13 was slightly big on me, however, I still look like a stuffed sausage. But, I can live with that. I just wish I had my Aquanet in my purse! The cans would have matched the dresses! HA!

Obama/Biden 2008

2008-08-25T05:32:00.000-07:00

Well, I don't and won't publish much about politics in the way of who runs for various office positions in our government. Why? Because for the most part, I think a politician is a politician is a liar/manipulator/poor choice maker/insert various other inept abilities that ultimately affect billions of other people all over the World.

But, I have to say that I'm somewhat please that Obama chose Biden for his VP running mate. From what I am told by my boss and other co workers that pay attention to this stuff, he really supports VAWA-Violence Against Women Act. That is the fund that provides monies for shelters and outreach centers that assist victims of domestic and sexual abuse. So, I do like that. However, I have also heard he voted for the war....which I guess a lot of people did...but it seems kind of like an oxymoron to me. Prevent violence against women but vote for violence overseas. (shakes head). I suppose one might aruge the war was an ultimate attempt to prevent further violence in Iraq, but I think you can all guess what I think about that argument. *Something suddenly stinks in here*

Anyway, other than that, I don't know much about Biden or what this choice does to the Democratic ticket. I'll be voting for them either way.

On the other side: one might be kind of suprised by my thoughts on this. I can't believe the big deal they are making out of McCains "how many houses do I own" debacle. Yes, it is unbelievable and insane and places him so out of touch with my life. BUT, honestly, there are very few people at that level of government who are "in touch" with the lives of the average American. So, I really think that all politicians should abide by the old, "don't throw stones in glass houses" because although I will be voting for Obama, I'm pretty sure life is just a little bit easier than most and he probably doesn't have to think twice about whether or not he is losing his house tomorrow or how he is paying for groceries or what to do about his lack of health care. He may not have 4...er, ah 10 houses, but I'm pretty sure the one he lives in is not too terribly shabby.

Okay, well I'll get off my soapbox for now. Will be posting later about thelighter things in life...our "new to us" boat, my first day at school, and a little wardrobe incident perpetrated by Mariah and myself this past Friday. Pictures will be included, so stay tuned:)

Hansen Dairy Rocks My Socks Off!!

2008-08-21T10:35:00.000-07:00

So I continue to LOVE Hansen Dairy! Every time I go there I feel so welcome and appreciated. The staff/owners are always so kind and conversational! For lunch today, I jumped across the street to MooRoos where they sell their ice cream by the scoop. Mmmmmm Delish! So good. And as I was in there, the delivery guy, who of course is a Hansen:) asked me "don't you normally shop over in the Cedar Falls store?" Okay, love that he recognizes the customers. That is awesome. And as I walked out he asked if I like tortillas. Well of course I do! And so he gave me a free package of some tortillas that were literally made last night in Decorah. They are having customers test them out to see if they will start selling them in their stores. Awesome! Can't wait to try them tonight.

It's about me, but its also about us.

2008-08-21T06:42:00.000-07:00

As I read over my entries, I realize I write a lot about MY life, rather than our (Josh and my) life together. Which, I think that is okay. I mean, I am still an individual dealing with my own personal struggles and I think this is a place where I kind of mentally deal with those things. But, after rereading my Vegan Parenting entry, I realized I did a lot of talking about my kids and what I will teach them. I think I did this mostly because Josh isn't on the same path as I am in terms of being strict about boycotting factory farming and that was the specific issue at hand in the blog. He does it where he can, but he still eats what he wants and that is totally fine by me. I think he probably thinks I over do it a bit, but also supports me in what I need to do. But, I wanted to clarify, there will definitely be a partnership as WE raise OUR kids. And, honestly, IF we ever do have children, I can't wait to help him raise our kid(s).

On another note: They say the first year of marriage can be tough. Even tougher when your dealing with depression I would guess. I commend my husband for putting up with my woah is me attitude. Especially because he is such a social butterfly. It isn't fair to him that I continue to wallow in my own self pity. I think I am finally making some good changes in my daily life that will ultimately change my brain chemistry! Honestly, over the last couple of days I have felt less reactionary and anxiety driven, and dare I say, happier?! I'm still waiting to see if it holds or if I've just been lucky:) I've been working out everyday in hopes to naturally boost my endorphines, as well as taking the St. John's Wort. I really hope it works as I don't want to have to deal with the potential side affects of meds, although, if needed I will make use of them. So, there ya have it. More about me than you probably wanted to know. Have a blessed day!

Not Free Speech, RIGHT speech.

2008-08-21T06:37:00.000-07:00

My new Mantra. Like I said yesterday, small steps, one day at a time, but I'll eventually get to a place where my heart feel at peace. I hope this helps me get there.

Three Tests of Right Speech:

Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?

Just reading it lifts a weight from my shoulders.

Vegan Parenting?

2008-08-20T06:27:00.000-07:00

Well, I am not strictly vegan, however my attempt to eat meat and dairy and other animal by products that comes only from small family farms where the animals are treated more humanely has been fairly successful. I still struggle with this because I know if I owned a cow, I would grow attached and treat it like a pet. And I would never eat my pets. But, I also believe that if I lived in the "wild", I would probably kill animals for nourishment. So I guess that is my reasoning for now. I'm just not in a place where I feel comfortable getting rid of all animal products from my diet. It may happen eventually. You never know. One day at a time, with small changes will allow me to get to the place where I feel most at peace and stay there long term.

With that being said, I did want to share the article below. I agree with the main idea. While I won't be able to control everything my kids eat or wear, they will be taught the idea that ALL animals deserve to be treated in a humane way and that we should make an effort to observe that through the products we choose to buy. I don't think I'd go as far as restricting them from friends and family with leather furniture, though a precocious little one (as I'm sure mine will be) may have a word or two for someone with a leather couch;) Is it any different than instilling another belief system in our kids? I think not as long as they are not malnourished, but I'd love to hear what others think. Just some food for thought, I guess.

Mary Martin, PhD, deconstructs the language, ethics and economics of our relationship with nonhuman animals.

On Vegan Parenting . . . Again

In "Custody Battle Over Quints Questions Vegan Lifestyle," by Emily Nipps, we learn about Gayle and Jeff Nelson-Folkersen of Tampa who are getting divorced, and Jeff is seeking primary custoday of their five 10-year olds. The only reason we know at this point for his decision, is Gayle's strict vegan lifestyle. Jeff claims she has:

'serious psychological control issues' and imposes a strict vegan diet - no meat, eggs or dairy - on the children, according to Hillsborough County court files. She even restricts the quints' visits with their paternal grandparents, the divorce petition states, because they have leather furniture.

The article casually states a commonly held train of thought that I'd like to take a moment to derail:

Vegan diets, especially for children, are often criticized not just from a nutritional standpoint, but also an ethical or psychological one. Adults often choose veganism because they disagree with the way factory farms use animals to produce eggs and milk, as well as how they are fattened or slaughtered for meat.

Is it okay to teach a child about these practices to ensure they share a parent's views on cheese, ice cream and leather furniture?

First, even the New York Times has realized that Nina Plank-like concern over vegan diets for children is bunkum. People who criticize veganism from a nutritional standpoint simply don't know the facts. There's been more discussion about this topic over the last 30 days than ever before, and we have Nina Planck and her misinformed op-ed to thank for that. The American public has been schooled on the nutritional aspects of veganism, and for those paying attention, the case is closed.

What strikes me as entirely backward, however, is that vegan diets are criticized from and ethical or psychological standpoint. Everyone communicates their values to their children, either implicitly or explicitly. If I have leather furniture in my house or my car (I don't), I am telling the world--through my choices--that I think it's okay to sit on someone else's skin. If I feed my children meat, which my parents did to me, I am sending them the message that eating the flesh of another--for no better reason than you like the taste of it or it's readily available and inexpensive--is acceptable. My parents transmitted values to me: Certain animals, such as chickens and cows and pigs, are for eating, and there's nothing wrong with eating them. In fact, they can be quite tasty. Other animals, such as cats and dogs, are cute and sweet and for petting. You shouldn't eat those animals.

Pit that value system against: We don't eat nonhuman animals because we don't believe they are ours to eat. They are like us in many ways that are very important. They are like Fido and Fluffy in every way that is important. We wouldn't eat Fido or Fluffy, so we shouldn't eat other creatures either. (Language can be modified to fit appropriate stages of cognitive development, naturally.)

What makes the latter value system criticize-able? Isn't the former one, which encourages unnecessary killing of nonhuman animals and is devoid of logic, the one on ethical and psychological-shaky ground? Is it okay to teach a child what really goes on in the world? Of course it is (with appropriately language). It's better than lying to them about Old McDonald and his mythical farm, while driving through McDonald's for a happy meal.

Finally, "Some might find the choice to raise a child to have these ethical beliefs as no different from raising a child to have certain spiritual beliefs." Some might. I don't. Spiritual beliefs are based on faith and faith, by definition, is belief without evidence. Veganism is a way of life based on science. Facts. We know that sentient beings are like us in all ways that matter. That's not a belief--it's a fact. Raising children to be nonviolent and to ask questions and align their actions with what is right is not the child abuse it is made out to be--it's responsible parenting.

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Life is yours to live...just the way you want to live it.

2008-08-18T17:41:00.000-07:00

This is a giant block of whatever is most difficult for you to carry & trust me on this, you'll carry it more times than you can count until you decide that's exactly what you want to do most & then it won't weigh a thing anymore. ~Brian Andreas, Weight Training

As I've journeyed through life, I've made some tough decisions. Mostly decisions about who I wanted to be, what was important to me, and when and where I would take a stand for those things. It's never easy. I think it was more so for me because I had a lot of great supports in my life. People who only wanted me to be happy and trusted I knew exactly how to get to that point...whether immediately or in the long run. Really my family is the best. They supported me through being a philosophy major...where was that going to get me I got asked by strangers all the time. And my sister took two whole years off before even considering going to college. "Oh she'll never go" was what many people probably thought. And what if she never did? Would that make her less than? And through life experience she learned what she wanted to do rather than force the decision in 2 short years of college before she would have had to declare a major. I think we are both happier people now for following our hearts! My husband is a prime example of someone who just never felt like college material. He had 2 go's at it, but in the long run he wanted to work with his hands. He's a carpenter now and gets paid the same as me...and I have the student loan bill! Imagine that.

Really the same goes for any stance in life. College, religion, raising your kids, hell, birthing your kids, eating your food...Anything. You'll always get the eyebrow raise, the sly looks, the "concerned" questioning, the "but don't you think you should...."!

It makes me sad when I know there are people out there who crumble under the pressure of their "support" systems. "Supports" who don't truly hear what these precious individuals need to become complete in their very own way. Everyone has their own path and they have the right to follow that path as long as it does not injure another. But it can be so hard to follow when everyone else wants you to go down the "right" path. I wish there were no "right" mandated by most of society. It just breeds insecurity and hostility in those who try to follow it but never feel quite right about it.

Follow your dreams, live your life for yourself because you'll never be able to live for someone else until you do, let others love you for exactly who you are and leave the rest to miss out on the best person they may never know!

Mm mm Delish!

2008-08-13T20:00:00.000-07:00

If for some reason I'm in the market to marry again, this is the man I will be seeking. One swimmer for another. Who knew I had a penchant for swimmers? Really, I had no clue who he was before this week, but that's about all I needed with Josh so apparently it is par for the course! Ooh he's about to race again. Exciting stuff.

Mock Blogs

2008-08-13T13:55:00.000-07:00

My friend Kaari's blog
So above is a link to an entry on my friend Kaari's blog. It also links to another spoof blog, but she did a good job explaining what it spoofs. Although not Mormon, it makes me laugh out loud quite a bit because it really does mock many bloggers, I think!