If it is legal, it can't be that crazy...right?!?

Well I had heard about this Salvia grass they sell right in the mall that supposedly makes you trip. Well, I decided to try some this past weekend. I figured, what the heck? It's my birthday, I'm up for anything. Not to mention it is legal and from what I heard, it lasts like 10-15 minutes. So, if I don't like how I feel, I'll be over it it in no time.

HA! The intense trip probably lasted 10-15 minutes, but I was crawling out of a time-space warp for at least an hour. It was the craziest experience I have ever had. Because I didn't expect to experience what I did, I spent the whole trip amazed at what was happening and trying to explain to everyone what was happening. I was likely very annoying. There really is no way to describe it other than I kind of felt like my mind was like on of those Xbox commericals where the person's head is open in the back and you can see into it. I felt like I was wondering around in the back of my head, and i could walk up to my eyes and look out at the world if I wanted to, but then I would walk back and I couldn't see anything. I could hear people calling to me, but had no idea where they were or how to find them. At one point I finally found Josh (even though he was holding me and looking right at me) and I remember asking him to hold on to me and keep me here because I wanted to stay looking out of my eyes. It was crazy!

Once I could permanently look out my eyes, I still felt like I was right on the edge. Like I was in this weird tunnel or under water, and I kept almost getting my head outside the tunnel or above the water but I just never got there. I think I would like to try it again now that I know what to expect, and just roll with it instead of trying to explain it to myself and everyone around me. I've video googled, and there is this guy Jim who records himself on Salvia trips. It appears he is describing much of what I was experiencing. Definitely a Long Strange Trip.

If you try it, you should definitely have a sober friend around to watch after you and reassure you all is well!

The end of another year.

Well, 7 days until I'm 33, and 6 until my hubby is 29! At least HE is still in his 20s! Ah well, this is life isn't it? I find myself appreciating it more and more lately. Could be this new lease on life. I have not finished A New Earth. I'm just not much of a reader, but I have continued to carry the lessons with me and try to read just a little bit here and there to continue my journey. It really has helped me stay out of the negative flow of thought that usually corrupts my brain! I'm sure the meds are helping. Lexapro is so far so good!

I'm on a break with teaching. I still have to submit my grades, but the end of the semester wrapped up very nicely. Just a few Ds and Fs. I'm excited to start a new semester, but nervous about the new class I'll be teaching. I need to get reading (uh-oh) so I know what I'm teaching:) But at least the 2 sections of what I taught this semester will be a breeze since I've already taught it once. I'll be teaching T/TH and T evenings. So, that is nice. Not as many lectures to prep for as when you have a 3 day a week class.

The biggest thing I'm excited about is having our credit cards paid off. I had planned on being done by Dec, but things never go as planned. I needed new tires, we went to St. Thomas, and we had massive vet bills! So, now if everything goes as planned I should be paid off by the end of January! Fingers crossed. It will feel so freeing!

It has been nice that for the first time in forever, I am not scrambling to figure out how to pay for those unexpected expenses. This teaching job is really great for the added income if nothing else. Weird how when the rest of the world is freaking out about the economy, we are actually doing fairly well. However, the adjunct thing is never a sure thing, so I am hoping to save save save after January and getting the debts paid!

Oh what else can I bore you with??? It is cold and snowy and up until yesterday I was walking my dogs every night. THey love this snow! But, the below zero temps are just a little too low for my or the dogs liking. Hopefully it warms up a little or they'll be bouncing off the walls.

Christmas shopping is done on my end, but not Josh's. He is a procrastinator. Not sure, but I think a Wii is in store for our family! That will be fun if I am right. Can't tell for sure with that sneaky man!

Okay, well, that is enough rambling for now! Merry Christmas and Happy Winter Holidays to all!

I'm not allowed at Urgent Care anymore.

So, for the second time in a week I walked out of Urgent Care. Well, not really but kind of. The first time I was in there for my supposed adverse reaction to the wellbutrin. I thought I was having an allergic reaction, but in reality, I think I was having an anxiety attack. Either way, the doctor was not acknowledging either issue. I finally just left.

Well, last night. Josh and I were wrestling. We were having so much fun actually, but too much horseplay results in injury. "Someone's gonna get hurt!!" All of a sudden my earring got hooked on his tooth and as we separated he grabbed his mouth and I my ear. I was sure his tooth was hurt. I have some pretty serious weapons as earrings. But, upon further investigation it was actually my ear that got the raw end of the deal.

I wouldn't look at it because I was nervous about how bad it was, but Josh was convinced we needed to go to Urgent Care for stitches. I was still convinced we could just glue it. So, we got to UC and the Dr. said yes, we will glue it. There was a wait. I didn't want to wait because as I suspected, we could glue it. So, we left. We glued it! Yay.

I'm pretty sure Urgent Care thinks I'm a freak though. Here is my injury all glued up:)

Another Unexplained Absence

So, I've been absent again. Sorry peeps. I'm sure there are so many of you just dying for an update. Well, I've been sick. I'm still not sure why or what it was. I think it was a combo of the flu the side effects of the Wellbutrin I had started. Either way I was out of it for a good 4-5 days. And now I have a head/chest cold. Fun times!

Before I got sick, I committed to a new journey. A quest to refocus, re-energize, and find value in my life again. I decided that I would start taking anti-depressants despite my reluctance and truly commit to therapy. The Wellbutrin did not sit well with me at all! I will hopefully find something that works when I visit the doctor this week. I have my 3rd therapy appointment this week. Last week was very good and set me on a great path. I had a wonderful holiday weekend. There were some set backs and old props I leaned against, but I can easily recognize them now. I can only do my best, which will never be perfect, but I'm not trying to be perfect.

I bought the two books above in an effort to help me focus my energies. I talk a big game, but often I do not walk the talk. It was also called to my attention in therapy that my negative self is always waiting in the wings to jump out and scold me or those around me. She needs to take a chill pill! I'm hoping these books help me to tell my negative self to go take a breather. It is funny, even as I read the Four agreements, I find myself nearly crying. Crying because I know a lot of what I've been doing is so unhealthy for me and those around me, and crying because I don't know if I'm ready to let go and truly make a change, and crying because I'm scared to see what happens if I do really invest in this change. I'm such a huge creature of habit and control.

I haven't even started A New Earth. The Four Agreements are going to be difficult enough. They sound so simple, yet the agreements I have already made throughout my life are so ingrained in my being that it will be difficult to break them and enter into these new ones. I'm am excited though. Only good can come from what is on the Horizon.

For those of you who have an interest, the four agreements that I am attempting to incorporate into my life on a permanent basis are:
1. Be impeccable with my word...(NO MORE GOSSIP, NO MORE HATEFUL SELF TALK.)
2. Do not take anything personally...(If I'm being impeccable with my word, than your issues with me are more about you than me.)
3. Don't make assumptions. (about myself or others...ask questions!)
4. Always do your best. (My best will look different everyday, maybe every minute, but if I'm trying my best in the moment, than I won't set myself up for failure.)

Here I am!

I know....I've been neglecting my blog. Well, what a happy day! Barack Obama will be our next president! This election, like everyone says, was monumental. Not only do I now have a president I can trust, I have a president who has made this country take a long hard look at itself! When I look at Barack Obama, I feel a sense of peace. I did not even feel this way with Clinton. Although, I was only in high school at the time. I think after living some of my adult life watching some of the things that have happened over the years, I have gained a sense of urgency that perhaps I didn't have had in high school. Anyway, on my FB this morning, a McCain supporter friend of mine made the comment, "they said the sun would come up today, but it didn't". It was very cloudy and rainy this morning, but just as I read his comment and looked out the window, this is what I saw.....

The picture doesn't do it justice, but the double rainbow was there! Lately, I've been feeling stronger and stronger about my Earth based spirituality. I just love looking around me and seeing the beauty in nature that reflects the beauty and hope that I should have about life! It gives me strength! Even as I'm typing, it is sunny, it is raining, it is cloudy, it is thundering, it is amazing! Mother Nature is definitely a celebrating something this morning, although I doubt it is the politics. I don't imagine she concerns herself much with that...although if Obama has his way, she will be much happier!

So, on to Halloween. Pretty anti-climatic as per the usual. But, here is the pic.



Additionally, that weekend, my grandma turned 91! I can only hope to be as healthy, active, and happy as she is at 91! Here are my dad, grandma, and aunt.



And then, because I can't blog without mentioning my kiddos... here is a cute pic of Zeke and our kitty, Jezebel. I was in the laundry room and up pops Zeke's lil head. Kitty was not thrilled, however, she wasn't as displeased as I would have guessed she would be.



So with that, peeps, I'm off to St. Thomas for 5 days tomorrow morning. A "most expenses paid" vacation is definitely my favorite way to travel:) I'll post pics when I get back. Mwah!

The not so perfect lamp.

Well, I got the lamp today. It is not so perfect and will be heading back from whence it came. Boo! But, this will give me the cash I need to buy the perfect boot referenced earlier! Yes!

And here are my mug shots. I hate these self portrait deals. I'm happy with it. It is def not as short as the pics I posted, by that was never my intention. Although, who knows. I could get braver next time!

fulfilling my role as a consumer.

I pretty much feel these are a necessity. I'm just waiting to hear back on what size I should order.

Best Lamp Ever?

I'll find out sometime between 10/30 and 11/4. I'm very excited to see how this lamp plays out in our living space. I have a visual in my mind that I am hoping is accurate.

Do I dare? More sassiness added.

I'm thinking of going even shorter. A combo of these two pics...but also keeping the fron a bit longer. More chin length so it can go behind the ears.

I've added more pics, mostly so I have them all in one place to refer back to. I'm going tomorrow for the big cut. Still wanting longer in the front, but I love all of these. I'm tempted to just tell her to go for it. But, I'm also super nervous. I think as long as I have some length around the face, I'll be fine. Also, I'm watching Jon and Kate + 8. I definitely do not want it like hers. It is almost too mushroomy. It's gonna bre a fine line. I'm scared:-S

Does my Earth based spirituality count?

To preface: I'm not one of those who believes we should pull Christmas trees out of public spaces or schools. I think people should be able to say Merry, Happy, Have a Great (fill in the blank), whatever they are comfortable with saying without people getting all worked up. I do, however, think that when an employer or school decides to celebrate a holiday, we have to be willing to go a bit more general. E.g. Holiday Party. Either that or be willing to have more than one celebration. Let's get to the matter at hand shall we.

My mom, for years, has advocated for the Holiday Party at her place of employment. As many of you know, I subscribe to more of an Earth based spirituality which I gained from my mother. Because of her "religious affiliation" and others that she works with, she felt perhaps it was more appropriate to have a Holiday Celebration rather than a Christmas Party since not everyone in the organization celebrated Christmas. This has been like pulling teeth. And in fact, the request fell on deaf ears.

Well, it is 2008 people. The holiday season is upon us, and mom is finally getting her wish. However, it is not due to her request. Apparently, there is now a Jewish employee working for the company. UH-oh! Apparently it is now a HUGE deal to have a Holiday Party instead of a Christmas Party so as not to offend. Although Judaism is still not the "right" religion, it apparently carries enough clout to change the work environment a bit. So, mom kind of wonders...why? How is it different?

She is still struggling with whether to actually ask this question of the powers that be. I can't wait to hear the answer if she does.

Free Ringtones Anyone?

No, this is not a spam entry! It is really me. It is safe to click here:)

I discovered Phonezoo last night. You can either search for already made ringtones, or make your own from music on your computer. Once you sign up, the site just texts you the ringtone to save to your phone. No hidden costs that I have found so far. Here is an article about it, too.

Search for hilarious randoms...growing pains theme song, family ties, saved by the bell...it is endless. The Office quotes from the show. It is pretty much awesome.

Have a fabulous day! Sha na na naaaaah.

Circumcision

Informational Link

Capitalsim vs. Socialism

I don't know a ton about either of these issues to effectively argue for one over the other. However, here is the argument that annoys me. People who say I'm not for Obama because I am not for socialism. Many of these people are in love with the idea of capitalism, and why should I have to pay for some lazy low life.

Number 1. Do we really value our CEOs over our teachers or our daycare providers? I recently had a friend who was offered a job as a DIRECTOR at a daycare. Her pay would have been 8.50 an hour. Is she lazy? NO. Would she be able to make it with her two kids on her own with this salary? No way. She'd likely need some assistance. Maybe even a tax break.

I also have a friend whose father left her mother, 2 brothers, and herself with nothing. Mom worked hard for minimum wage, and the kids even brought home money to help. They could have never done it without gov't assistance. Lazy? NO.

Why is it because I have chosen employment in a community serving capacity that I make significantly less than a CEO of some big company? Do they work harder than me? I'm sick of people saying that this whole restructuring thing is about taking from the well deserving rich and giving to the lazy middle class or poor. Yes, the system has MANY flaws, and many abuse the system because of this. But there are many of us out there who work just as hard as Joe CEO, and reap none of the rewards. Joe CEO will still come out much farther ahead even if I get the tax cut and he doesn't.

Looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays.

While I preach the idea of only putting energy, even energy of thought, toward the outcomes you would like to see in your life, I sometimes put energy toward the bad stuff. For some reason, I got to thinking about what I would do if someone in my family died. Especially my dad or my husband. I think it is mostly because they are both really unhealthy...although my mom does smoke now, too. But, I have always had this fear of my dad dying. Probably because my grandpa had two or three heart attacks and he was fairly young with his first one, and I'm guessing kind of young when he died...for a grandpa that is. I was only in 5th grade at the time and my grandma is still here with us today. We'll guess sixtyish...and my dad is well on his way to 60ish.

Anyway, I got to thinking. I don't think I would go to the funeral of anyone who was really close to me. Not like a friend or anything, but my immediate family. I don't know how people sit there while everyone comes up to them to say they are sorry. Ick. I wouldn't be able to handle it. I'd lose my mind. So, yeah, at this point in my life, if my parents, sister, or husband died, I would not go to the funeral. Just putting that out there.

I wasn't going to blog about this until I was reading the weekend issue of the Courier online this morning. A classmate who graduated a year behind me died over the weekend. Eric Sickels. I remember thinking he was cute in Jr. High. I mean, really, that is the face I see when I think of him. It is just kind of surreal and I can't even imagine what his family is going through right now. You always think life here on earth is forever, but it is not.

I guess all you can do is really appreciate what you have while you have it. Make the most out of life, and really...don't sweat the small stuff.

Sorry for the weird morbid post. How's that for a case of the Mondays.

Oh Tunic, How I love thee...

Well, last night I hit the jackpot. Target had all kinds of tunic style tops on sale for 4-5 dollars a piece. I ordered several. I love wearing these tops over my skirts. Nice and flowy. I ordered all of these while watching Tim Gunn's Guide to Style. He actually said something like the more volume your clothes have, the more volume you appear to have. He said this last week too. Last week's gal had a ton of tunics and babydoll tops. I knew he would be very disappointed as I clicked on the submit order button. I don't care though. I like looking flowy even if I look volumonously flowy:-) I heart Tim Gunn, but I heart my flowiness more. Plus you can lose or gain weight without anyone knowing! Yay for tunics.

I'm just that special

My co-workers, Jamie and Alicia got me these flowers yesterday with a card that said "to brighten your days. We like to see smiles on your face." Aww! (Does this mean I've been a bear lately?)

They tried to do the whole anonymous thing, but I recognized Alicia's handwriting right off the bat. I sign your handwritten timesheets, so ya can't get by me that easily!!

Thanks ladies!!

More dog pics...cause they are my kids ya know!

Well the following seems to be the usual for us during evenings and weekends. I seriously can't imagine what will happen once Zeke grows to be bigger than Karma. Well, yes I can. We'll just have to scrunch to fit because who are we kidding. Our dogs rule the roost.

I've also discovered why my little dog jack and are I joined at the hip since I started teaching. I've learned a lot about attachment styles. My attachment style is anxious-ambivalent or preoccupied. This is where you desire close relationships, but are so pre-occupied with the thought of losing those relationships that you get all clingy and can sometimes have a negative impact on the relationships you already have. Well, I think if dogs could have attachment styles, Jack would be pre-occupied as well. So really, since we are both clingy, we just cling on to each other:) There really is something about having him sleeping right next to me at night. I feel so much more relaxed. Funny and somewhat pathetic.






And then here is another picture from my perspective as I sit on the couch. Sometimes Josh and I both sit there and think about how much we love our house. We even say it out loud multiple times a week. We are dorks!

Here and there randomness

Just thought I'd post some random pics that have nothing to do with each other. Here is the very first fall leaf I found in our yard. Now there are millions. But, this beautiful fiery red leaf was hard to miss laying in contrast to the bright green grass in our back yard. Ahhhh, it really is the simple things in life sometimes.

Up next, a night out with friends at the Lava Lounge. Doug makes a mean drink, so watch yourself.

The best SHIRT! of all time! Mike is always good for a laugh.

Brooke and Amanda being crazy.

Amanda, Brooke, Mikayla, me, and Emily.

Some guy, Phil, and Mikayla

And then, we have Shakeem's 8th Birthday! Good times at Chucky Cheese! I still like Showbiz and Billy Bob better!

An eye for an eye

Damm Gets Death

Niki's Statement

You couldn't subject yourself to being there to hear her cries, why should we hear yours now?

Crying for you life now, huh, Dave? I mean seriously. "wept and dabbed his eyes as Donnisha's mother was on the stand" ? That man feels no remorse for anything other than the fact that he is facing a life sentence or death. And even if sentenced to death, he will not face the penalty until the moratorium on capital punishment is lifted in Illinois which could be never.Recent Courier Article

I say put him in with the general population. He'll likely get his death sentence there. Wasting anymore time or tax dollars on this man is a slap in the face to Donnisha.

Halloween

As most of you know, I don't do the dress up thing. I hate it. I'm not creative and can never think of anything. Plus, you always end up being uncomfortable. For the past few years I've been an army girl, wearing my cargo pants and army cap. Or, a painter, wearing the same cap and my big baggie overalls. Both are usual clothes for me, so I'm really not dressing up, and I stay comfortable.

Well, this year I'm actually dressing up, BUT I get to stay cozy! Josh and I are going as Jim and Pam from The Office. And we are going as Jim and Pam in the Office Fun Run Pro Am Race for a Cure for Rabies blah blah blah whatever it is. Pretty much what I lay around in at the house on any given night or weekend (minus the visor). Awesome!!

Abortion and Racism?

Vitamin Z

You know, I have never thought about abortion in the context of how and where it started and whether or not it was rooted in racism. Don't get me wrong. This is an anti Obama video,and an anti choice video. I do not support either of those things. But I am prompted to do some more research into the roots of abortion and Planned Parenthood.

As with many things that are released from either the right or the left, most times they are highly inflammatory. Thus, I will take this with a grain of salt until I can investigate further.

KCRG News.

Kcrg video coverage.

EFFING GUILTY!!!!

All three counts...GUILTY!!!! 1.5 hours to decide. The jurors had smiles on their faces as the handed the judge the decision and made eye contact with my family! I can't wait to watch the news on all of this!

Sometimes it really is just a matter of fact!

While I don't always agree with my friend Matt, you should head over toMatt's Blog for his recent entry about the latest, greatest visitors to arrive in Cedar Falls. We need more men like Matt to stand up and take a stand about these kinds of issues. Kudos to Matt!!

And I raaaan, I ran so far awaaaay. I couldn't get away.

I guess if Duran Duran can stand the test of time, so too can 80s fashion. I walked by the following display in Kmart yesterday. I felt obligated to document the tragedy despite my fight or flight reflex kicking in. I mean, I guess if we are going to do this, we are gonna go all the way. I remember my first beret. I thought I was so fricking cool. I think I was in 4th or 5th grade. I wore that thing everywhere. And of course I had leg warmers. They fit best and looked best fit snuggly over jeans. mmmmm....comfy, cozy and fashionable...HA!!! Thank goodness it is all back.

As if we didn't already know this...

But, David Damm is a scumbag. I'm sure most of you are reading along in the Courier, but here's my mom's account of his testimony.

She said that although he cried, and tried to appear upset, there was nothing about his actual voice or body language that indicated he was upset. He was cold and uncaring. She also said that there was one jury member who she had not seen make any kind of facial expressions to show where he was at with this whole thing, well he was having trouble not laughing at Dave as he cried. Apparently most of the jury were so disgusted by his behavior that they didn't even look directly at him after a bit (well, that is what we are hoping was the reason).

After he "cried", he would then smirk throughout his testimony. Anytime the prosecution caught him up in something he'd just smirk. And he never showed any remorse or sadness during cross. I mean, if I were sad, I'd be sad throughout. But, clearly it was a show.

I'm just stunned at what is clearly their failed defense for this man. We kept wondering why they would mention my sister so much. WE kept wondering what was the point of trying to make Donnis look like a violent jerk to Niki and the kids. Well, Dave is asserting that Donnisha just had to get away. Begged him to take her so she could run away forever. Well, if they could have made a case that Donnis was a jerk, that might have gone over better. She may have been scared of her father and tired of being abused. Well, that attempt failed miserably. No one testified that Donnis was abusive. Huh. Sucks for you Dave.

And what 60 year old decides it is probably best to just help a 13 year old run away? Don't you talk to the parents at that point, or report to DHS if you actually suspect abuse? And then he supposedly just dropped her off at a phone booth to meet Burt? Okay, 13 year old girl, I am going to drop you off here. Then a stranger you have never met who is also a crack head is going to pick you up and you need to get in the car with him. REally? Duh, Dude. Not much of a story there.

And the thing with my sister. Well, Dave actually mentioned her as well. Saying she stopped in once to make a payment on Niki's car. Well, I think they were also going to say they were trying to blackmail Dave with sexual abuse allegations in order to get the car loan forgiven or whatever. And since my sister was the first person to talk to her about the Sexual abuse...well she clearly knew about the car loan because she made a payment, and she probably planted the ideas of sexual abuse in Donnisha's head. Number 1, there was no making DNA up. Number 2, DUH! But, since they never put Angela on the stand, they really couldn't make that attack either.

So, my sister finally gets to go into day. Poor girl. Mom thinks keeping her on the back burner probably kept the defense confused, worried, off track, or whatever. Always anticipating being able to come on strong with that argument, and then never getting to. So, good for the big picture, but bad for her as she did need this for closure. Not sure what will happen from here as far as how she'll cope.

Rebuttal happens today. And then it will be turned over to the jury early this afternoon. At this point, I don't see how you deliberate for even an hour. But, I guess I'm biased. I don't even want to know what would happen if he doesn't get found guilty. So, let's just pray, meditate, and put our energy toward the outcome that we want. GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY!!!!

Pinwheel Pinwheel Spinning Around...

Take a look at this article about wind energy in Iowa. I knew these wind towers were huge, but from a far, you just never realize how big they are. Look at the pic in the article with the car driving past one of the blades. Crazy, but exciting! Go Iowa!!

Ding Dong the Witch is Dead

Emporium Pets is closing due to tax evasion! Puppy Mill supporting pet store will be no longer! Although thankful to this day for my lil Zeke, I will never again support this type of horrendous store!! Thankfully there is going to be one less in this world.

Damm testifies tomorrow!

He should go all day. Rebuttals are Thursday and then it goes to the jury!

Six Corners Kwik Star

I know I go in there a lot! I get my coffee there everyday, and prior to moving, we were in there multiple times a day. But, today as I was getting my coffee, I hear a voice behind me say, "Did you get your hair cut again Stacy?" I look back and it was (I think) Barb. I feel bad because I don't know her name, but she works there and she knows my name. Kind of like Hansen Dairy, it just made me feel nice that she took the time to know who the heck I was. Makes you feel more small townish. I guess I like that. Definitely re-affirms the value of my efforts to take time to tell people thank you, and have a great day, and all the other things I say to people I meet along the way instead of just paying for my stuff and leaving without a word.

I guess it is the little things that make me smile.

BTW, I cut my hair again if you didn't get that:)

Week Two, Day One...Mom's Report.

Well, after talking to my mom last night, I guess the jury is still actually laughing out loud at the defense attorneys. From the sounds of it, they are a joke, which leads me to fear that there will be grounds for a mistrial due to inadequate representation. But, I don't know how that all works.

But, apparently they number one just left subpoenas on people's door steps instead of handing them to them. Number two, of those who did come to testify, they had never actually talked to them in regards to what info they would testify. One friend of the family was called to drive all the way down there yesterday only to not provide the information the defense wanted to hear, so they sent him home without testifying. DUH.

They continued to try to make a case that Donnisha's dad was an abusive man, but that didn't happen. And, I'm still curious why that would matter anyway? All in all, most of the witnesses for the defense turned out to confirm most of what the prosecution was presenting. Most of the witnesses called to "verify" that Burt turned "crazy" during a come down actually said, "no, not so much".

Oh, and as Burt's ex was heading up to testify, the prosecution got up to help her because she has a hard time walking. She was a witness for the defense and they just sat there and watched her struggle, so the prosecution got up to assist.

Today might be the last day of testimony before the jury goes in for deliberation. I hope that really happens.

Week Two.

According to my sis, the defense pretty much sucked today. Few of their witnesses showed, and they couldn't eve fill a full day. Court was called early.

However, I would like to say that this article and the testimony in it is insane. If the defense thinks that the domestic abuse Burt perpetrated on his girlfriend is proof that he is a violent person, they are crazy. Batterer's are seldom randomly violent toward other people. They reserve this violence for the ones the "love". So, I hope they have others that prove he was violent after his crack highs. And I hope the jury sees through this ridiculous defense.

My thoughts exactly.

hrmph

The Rape Kit Contro

Jon Stewart makes me giggle as I drift to sleep.

As always, I love Jon Stewart!
He is hilarious and given my current predisposition for head shaking when it comes to Sarah Palin, I heart him even more. BTW, what is this about victims have to pay for their rape kits in her state or town? I need more info about this. Likely something having to do with legislation rather than her as an individual...I WOULD HOPE!!!!

I can't really talk about foreign affairs or why we are in a financial crisis with much factual backing, but it appears to me that she can't either. But, maybe I'm wrong since I don't know my head from my a$$ when it comes to those matters. If I ignore what I perceive as her lack of basic knowledge regarding things she should have extensive knowledge about, I'll turn my attention to her politics as usual bologna. She won't just ANSWER a question.

I just don't get why she can't name a newspaper or magazine she read..."Just all of them...any of them". Why can't she say "yes I want it to be illegal for a victim of rape to get an abortion" instead of talking around it and saying "she'll counsel for life." Or not owning up to a sarcastic jab she made regarding how old and predictable Joe Biden is..."I remember hearing his speeches when I was just a little girl.. hardy har har." Okay great, but then don't come off as "oh no i was just saying how experienced he is."

Sarah Palin

Well, I'm done asking for people to back off. She is seriously struggling as far as I'm concerned. It is nearly as painful to watch her in an interview as it is to watch Bush speaking at length.

My issues are too numerous to name.

Let's just say, I'm hoping she has stepped up her game for Thursday evening.

Couric/Palin Interviews at CBS

Little ol'me?

I seem to have caused a stir on campus already. A certain athletic academic advisor sent me an email request for current grades on his players. Being that I work in a field where I need a release for everything, I automatically checked with my Dept. Head to be sure I was okay to release such info via an email request. He did not like the sounds of it. HE instructed me to let the guy know I needed the appropriate forms, and he contacted the Dean of Students. YIKES!

So today all professors get an email stating that we can go online to access these forms to fill out, blah blah blah. I figured, great. No problem. Well now there are crazy mass emails of professors who are annoyed by this process and would rather have paper forms which used to get sent out in the first place. So, I don't know what is going on, or if I caused all this drama, or what. I figured when I asked about it, my DH would say, "yeah go ahead. that is how we do it." I never figured I'd be creating mass confusion for all.

Leave it to me. Not to mention, I look like the "typical" feminist causing a stir for the "typical" sport that said feminist might typically cause a stir about :) Seriously not my intention. Maybe 10 years ago, but I'm too old for those games now.

Seriously, Courier?

How do they choose their headlines?

Tuesdays paper: Victim purposely takes wrong bus.

I get that this is a fact. I get that it is okay to report this information. But to lead off with it? In this day and age, people love to blame the victim. This type of headline sets that mentality into action even for the most victim friendly person. Der. How disappointing. Oh well.

Today was a good day. Lots of good evidence. Lots of the defense looking like a moron. The jury even snickered at them at one point. Nice:) Also, at lunch the owner of the restaurant bought their lunch and said some really kind words. It is nice when the world actually cares.

Everyone is home as there is no court tomorrow. They will go back for Friday and come back again for the weekend.

Looks like they might even wrap up by next week, and even have a verdict late next week early the following. Prosecution is set to wrap up soon, and the defense has aprx 2 days of information to present. So, we shall see. It be nice to have a verdict so soon. There are still a lot of stages of the game to complete once that happens which is why they estimate 6 weeks for the entire thing. But, I guess I was thinking 6 weeks until we had a verdict. The light is at the end of the tunnel for everyone down there which is awesome.

Sister is still on the "possible but probably not" witness list. Infuriated is the only way I can imagine she feels right now. She's too strong to let it show though.

Can't seem to get moving.

I don't know if it is because Josh is laid off this week, or maybe it's just life, but I can seem to get any fire under my butt. Oh well. This too shall pass.

So, not a lot of updating from the trail. Mom called last night and said this week seems to be harder for some reason. Not due to content though. I think more so because last week was so adrenaline fueled. They had waited 2 years for last week. Now that it has started they just have to keep plugging away. It looks as though the prosecution will go most of this week and my sister is still a big fat question mark on the witness list. So, she's still out of the room. Annoying!!!! Poor girl.

Video of the infamous bus stop was shown. I know I've been thinking this whole time, "stupid bus driver". But, as with everything, don't judge until you know the situation. She tried to stop Donnisha. She even threatened suspension from school. The last thing she thought was that she was letting a girl off to get murdered. And with a bus load of kids, what was she supposed to do? The only thing she could do. Report her to the school so she'd be reprimanded later. The thing that sucks is that this will probably be used against Donnisha. As if her wanting to see Dave means she deserved what she got.

It really just sucks how much these perpetrators brainwash our children. I mean, she really thought Dave had her best interest at heart. She thought she was being taken care of and that this was appropriate behavior. I'm sure she felt "loved". Heck, while she was being killed, she probably thought Burt was acting on his own accord. It probably never once entered her mind why this was really happening. Makes me wonder whether I ever want to bring children into this world full of yuck.

Aaaah, The Office

I needed that! I was pleased with The Office last night. Lots of good laughs, and P&J got engaged. Yessss!

So, now I have another non-reality TV show in which to immerse myself. Happiness.

The what if's will drive you crazy

Well, a Wloo cop testified yesterday. I am not going to put any blame on him because he did not kill Donnisha, but the following is so absolutely devastating.

I believe this was reported in the paper as well. He saw Burt at the Casey's on 63 on his way to get Donnisha. They knew each other, and he noticed Burt acting weird. He noticed he wasn't driving his usual car. He knew he did not have a license. He knew he usually did not venture out of his neighborhood.

He couldn't have arrested him, but he could have issued a citation. For a guy coming down off a crack high about to murder a little girl...well it seems to me some questioning from a police officer about what he was doing, and a ticket issued, might have been enough to make him panic and say hell no!

Apparently the cop was too busy tending to his missed call on his phone to do anything more than notice him.

What if's break my heart.

More about yesterday here.

Mom says when they called and end to the day yesterday, the defense was falling apart. Burt wasn't responding the way they had hoped and the cross examining attorney was fumbling over his words and questions. I'm curious to see if they regrouped today, and what happened when they got him back on the stand.

More about my KWWL experience.

Can I just say it was WEIRD!!!

First off, it was hard because I had to sit on set while they talked about Donnisha's case. I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to pull it together for my interview.

Secondly, watching them "prep" for going on air is hilarious. I mean, I'm sure I would do this too, but they look at themselves in the monitor and do this and that and move this way and that way and make this face and that face to make sure they look okay. I had trouble not laughing out loud.

Then to see Jeff Kennedy do the weather in front of nothing. I mean, I knew it was a green screen, but to see it happen was so funny. Talking about and pointing to things that simply were not there. That would be hard to get used to I would think.

Everyone was really nice though, and made me feel at ease. The guy who had to mic me got all nervous because I was wearing a tank top. He wasn't sure where to put it, and didn't want to be "feeling me up" or anything. I finally said, "you want me to stick up under my shirt and through the top?" He liked that idea, so we went with it.

Who remembers?

Thad and Derek Peck?

Check out You Tube.

Search for "28 years Full Force."

Enjoy.

Abso-frickn-lutely

My KWWL appearance

How many times can one women say absolutely. I may have set a record. Oh well. At least our message got out:)

Her Last Moments

He helped her out of the car and cornered her with his body and the car door. He hit her in the head with basically a sledge hammer with a short handle.

She got wobbly and asked for Dave.

He hit her again and she fell to her knees. She told him she had 150 dollars he could have. (She was trying to buy her life!!!)

He asked her where it was. In her pocket, she said. He hit her again and she slumped to the ground and took her money.

He then hit her again and she lost consciousness.

Then, to make sure she was dead he "sawed" on her neck awhile with a knife.

My mom said he was the most cold hearted person. No feeling, no remorse. Just the facts. My sister still did not get in to the room. Amazing. She is so strong. I just hope she will lean on people when she needs to do so.

I'm still so amazed. I who thought that pure evil resided right here in Waterloo Iowa all this time. That is the only thing these two men can be. Pure evil. If you don't decide this is a bad idea when you buy the camera to document the death, or secure the car and the weapons to carry out the deed, or drive and entire two hours when all you had to do was turn around and say no, why did you not look in those little girls eyes after the first time you hit her, and heard her plead with you, and decide, no, not today. This is not right? I don't understand.

Those of you who live by God's plan (and I'm sorry because I love those of you who do.) I say eff God's plan. What plan is this? A plan to put Satan back on Earth to violate and murder little girls? Great plan. Great effing plan. Kudos.

FYI...She was a real live girl.

Yesterday I had to deal with people discussing this case as if it was just some random case. Someone made a crack alluding to the fact that as a police officer or whoever, it would be annoying to have to go all the way to Galena to testify. Yeah sucks for you. Maybe you'd rather trade places with Donnisha? Or how about I go testify and you can know her personally and listen to people talk about her like she was no one special...just another case.

I'm guilty, though. I see so many victims in my office and they do become just another story sometimes. When the personal connection is not there, you don't want to get connected. It would be too painful to connect to everyone. It is easier to forget that people are real and their pain is real.

Anyway, here are a few pics of her, Vonnisha, and Shakeem.

Day Three

This morning's testimony...Burt.

My sister still was unable to be in the room. I can't wait to hear first hand from my mom what went down today. Certainly there is more to Burt's testimony than this. Did he not speak of her demeanor? Did he not speak to whether whe was scared or hurting or crying? It just makes it seem so non-eventful. I hit her with a hammer and she asked me where Dave was? I mean, wtf??? As awful as it sounds, I want to know what the frick happened.... emotionally, physically, everything. She should not have to be the only one who went through that. Other people besides those assholes should have to feel some of her pain and suffering. She was too sweet and wonderful to bear that on her own.

WCF Courier Coverage

Courier Coverage

Here is the direct site the WCF Courier has set up for the trial. Every article they write is cataloged there. It would be a good one to bookmark if you are following the case. I'll continue to post my family's reports as well.

Thanks for everyone's support.
Stacy

Day Two

And the saga continues.

As of right now, Burt goes on tomorrow. My sister still can't be in the room and it is killing her. She needs this for closure as much as everyone else. Donnis is going to try to convince the prosecution that they need to call her first and allow her to be in the room for Burt's testimony.

Also, it is amazing how even police officers forget the facts. Although these facts were not important to the case, Officer Wessels of the WPD testified about his response, I think the night they reported the sexual abuse before Donnisha was murdered. Although my family and her family have all suffered trauma and could have skewed memories of the events, no one remembers that night the same way he does. It was a completely different recollection of events. Another reason why it was helpful for the defense to put this case off for 2 years. People forget the little details that are needed in a case like this even the people we would expect to remember these thing.

Another Courier article.

Here.

Paraphrase: Damm and Burt bought a polaroid camera to be used to prove the job was done.

I don't know why, but this sent me over the edge today. I still can't wrap my mind around the planning that took place for this to occur.

I have never had hate in my heart for anyone more so than I do for David Damm.

I talked to my sister today. She can't be in the courtroom yet because she will be testifying. She is upset. Today they were showing the photos of Donnisha at the crime scene as well as in the autopsy. She needed that for closure. She hopes to view these things at a later date. AS awful as it seems it would be, I can understand.

1st Day of Trial

Here is the Courier article.

What the article doesn't tell you are the really awful things they heard today. It appears as if they are going to make the argument that Dave Damm hired Bruce Burt to take Donnisha somewhere so he could meet up with them and talk to Donnisha...convince her not to talk to the police anymore about the sexual abuse. AFter all he is a used car salesman and it would make sense that he'd want to use those "skills" to get out of this situation. I hope he rots.

I'm sure during the autopsy testimony and Burt's testimony more will come out, but drawings were presented of Donnisha's body. She had several cuts from a knife on her neck and throat. None of which killed her. She was also hit with a hammer on the head 3 times. It was not until the third and final blow that she likely died. It is so awful to have to think about what her last minutes must have been like.

It was also difficult for everyone there because her personal affects had to be identified. I think it is probably easy to remove yourself from the "reality" of it all when it is just a memory. When you have to see real things that belonged to her, I would think it is like she is back in the room in a way...a very untouchable, and sorrowful way.

I'm so glad I'm am not here listening to this first hand. I don't know how everyone else is doing it. Please join me in sending energy and prayer that David Damm is found guilty.

Here is another that talks a little more indepth.

May Justice be Done...Finally.

Take a little trip down memory lane.

Yearbook yourself!

So much for not being political....

But, abortion is one of those hot topics for me. I'm not about dragging Ms. Palin through the mud, but I definitely don't agree with her stance on abortion.

Read more here.

VW Commerical? TC Jab? Maybe both?

Below are two video clips. Both 4+ minutes long. One is of the new VW Routan Boom extended ad campaign of which there are shorter versions aired regularly on TV. The second is the Matt Lauer's interview with Tom Cruise regarding Psychiatry and Brooke Shields.

When I saw the 30 second commercial spots for the VWRB, I didn't put it together at first. I just thought it was weird. But, the more I see them, the more I think there might be a slight unspoken jab at Tom Cruise. She in some ways, acts eerily like Tom during his interview when discussing the "problem" of having babies for german engineering. Maybe I'm way out in left field.

I'm amused. So I guess that is all that matters. Hardy, har, har.

Can the Media Just Lay Off?

For the record, I do not support the Republican VP nominee, Sarah Pallin. From what I can tell, she pretty much stands against a lot of the things that I support. I respect her in that she has followed her dream and seems to be quite successful in the things she loves doing. I do not enjoy what I interpret as her passive aggressive stabs at the Democrats and specifically Obama. I wish she would just focus on why she thinks she rocks it out!

And, I wish the media would do the same in regards to her. First of all, you are supposed to be unbiased. I want to hear it all. The OBJECTIVE good and bad about all the candidates. All I hear about is Sarah Pallin lately. (I almost forgot who the Dem VP nom was) It's usually not good, whether it is issue related or trying to tarnish the 'popular' girl's image. This is going to allienate people. Sarah Pallin will soon become the Boston Red Sox or the Cubbies of the election. Root root root for the underdog.

To some degree we saw the same negative attacks on Hillary. I think those attacks were more personal than issue related. I did not support those attacks either, and I think they had a different impact for Hillary. She was never seen as an underdog, number one because she was a Clinton. Number two (which I believe is more telling of our sad state of affairs), sympathy did not run deep for her in the media nor among the undecided because she was not seen as an attractive soccer mom who made sure her husband and children were taken care of first and foremost. Now, I'm not placing value on how either one of these women have traversed the tight rope of life. More than likely, they have both made similar choices in response to juggling career and family. I will just say that those who are undecided may lean more toward Pallin based on an emotional response. Voting based on emotion? Now where have I heard that before?

I would really like her to start her interviews! I want to hear from her, not what the media thinks they know about her. Let's hear her plans, lets her stance's, lets hear her truths! She tells me she is against the Bridge to Nowhere. The media tells me "not at first". I want to hear more than a speech aimed to rile up the masses. I want to hear her discuss, in depth, from where she is coming and why.

Poor Karma

She just can't win. But, maybe the following explains why she has been such a grumpy gus lately.

Karma is a sick dog:( Josh came home to a house reeking of poo, and poor Karma was trapped in her kennel with explosive diarrhea. Poor girl was outside the minute we let her out of her kennel trying poo more, but couldn't. I took her to the vet and she had to stay the night. Her temp was down, she was dehydrated, and her packed cell volume was very high. All indicative of at least pancreatitis, if not something more serious.

This morning, I am happy to hear that it is "just" pancreatitis and nothing more. Apparently an illness to which Boxers can be prone. She'll need a special diet of course! What animal have I ever owned that has not needed some type of ongoing special diet or meds. Seriously, I think I suffer from munchausen by proxy, but with pets instead of kids. I know my Seeds girls will get a kick out of that one!

A Break from Reality

Well my friends and family will be thrilled to know I'm back on the fictional television bandwagon. Well, fictional in that it is marketed as fiction as opposed to reality which is, in fact, also fiction. Ya follow? I have been addicted to Bravo, A&E, MTV, VH1, E!, and all things horribly, hideously dubbed realtiy tv. But as of last night, although one week late, I'm back on the HBO train! Woot woot!

First off, we have the tried and true...Entourage. A half an hour with Adrian Grenier is really all any girl could ask for on a Sunday night.

Secondly, we have a new show, True Blood, that I'm hooked on already after seeing the second episode. I'll have to back track and catch the opener. Kaari, you may want to look into this given your newly acquired taste for hot blood sucking romance.

Now, don't you go worrying your pretty little heads. I've still got Project Runway to wrap up, Tabitha's Salon Take Over, and I'll always anxiously await the return of my favorite OCD, Jeff Lewis from Flipping Out. NO ONIONS!!!!!

Happy Anniversary to Us!

Well, we made it a year! I still look back at that day and love every moment of it. I still look back at the 3+ years we've been together and wouldn't change a thing. What a great life we've made together. Here's to many more years!